My beloved side hustle is working as an assistant wedding planner. It is a career that I would very much love to go into. Yesterday I was working a 30th birthday party. I spent the day blowing up hundreds of balloons to make a garland to attach to the center of a table. One of my favorite things and something I really find magical is that every time I work an event you walk into a blank room and you create something unique and exquisite and then make is disappear. In your typical event there are so many teams, (light, sound, catering, coordination). Within the span of one day a room completely changes into a different space entirely and then is restored to its ordinary look, like cinderella except without the help of a fairy godmother, this magic is created by humans.
Any way i was very blessed to be getting paid to blow up balloons. I had been very excited for this event for a while because it had so many different elements. Firstly the meal (4 courses) was going to be marijuana infused and after the dinner party they were going to a strip club and each of the 50 guests were going to receive an envelope with $100 singles to take with them. At least two courses had oils infused with up to 5 milligrams. And on the party bus that delivered them to the club each seat had very elegant tin box with gummy edibles and also infused chocolates. Before each thing was served the chef took the mic and explained what they were going to be eating and how drugged it was.
My boss had to come to the venue with a backpack filled with $5000 in singles and then we had to put them all in envelopes. As soon as we were done with this task we got a text from the client saying because we went over budget (buying gourmet edibles for 50 people ain’t cheap) he wanted to change it to $50 for each person. So we had to redo everything and re count everything. I had never seen that much money in my life…. it was very alarming.
One of my jobs during the day was to pick up the cake and bring it to the strip club for the after part. I was stressed and excited about this, stressed because I am helplessly clumsy and all sorts of accident prone and excited because I was going to get to ride in a car there and back something I NEVER do because I’m poor and the subway rides are $2.75. The very act of riding in a car is luxurious to me. So I set off, with the candles for the cake and a whole bunch of cash for the strip club manager. The cake was so damn heavy and I had to clutchy it in my lap hugging it so tight all my muscles were tense because we were on the highway and the driver was swerving all over the place. Ironically the cake being delivered to the strip club had a baby picture of the birthday girl. The club was on the side of a very empty creepy road in queens. There were big posters of girls in lingerie on the outside of the building. I got out, and me and the driver agreed I wouldn’t be more than 7 mins and that he would take me back to the venue. The bouncer took an annoying amount of time in seeing if I could get clearance into the club, especially annoying because I was holding a very large very heavy cake but I got to go in and damn it was depressing. There were 4 girls on the floor and the majority of them were on their phones and there was a very old white dude with two girls in his lap. He was seemingly the only customer. I went down stairs and aimlessly looked for the office of the manager. I awkwardly talked to him, gave him candles, money and made sure he refrigerated it and skipped right out of there. It had a hopeless vibe, the location, the fact that despite the neon lighting it was still dark in there and the un enthused vibe. It didn’t seem like a place you’d go for fun. So I walked out stretching my limbs to find that my Uber driver was gone… i guess he took another job. I was really bothered that he wasn’t true to his word. My biggest annoyance with humans is that they don’t do what they say they’re gonna do often. So I called another one which didn’t arrive for another 20 mins and when he did arrive he asked me if it was ok if he could pick up his boys.