stupidest thing I did today

so i’m my favorite teriyaki sauce in the world is from Trader Joe’s but I don’t go to Trader Joe’s anymore cause I live in nyc and the lines are crazy and not worth it. I’ll just eat take out forever and never learn how to cook, thank you Very much. But when i went to visit my sweet family they surprised me and brought me it :’) when I was putting everything together I realized since I decided I wanted to go and buy lots of random stuff at Marshall’s as per usual I couldn’t fit everything in the bag I brought I found a random big paper bag and stuff all my extra stuff in there in including my beloved teriyaki sauce. And my family was like it’s gonna break, it’s gonna break and I was like nah it seems sturdy and whatever. So I got on the bus and got to port authority and walked to the Q train and got off at my stop and then as soon as I walked out of the station boom I heard something shatter and then teriyaki sauce was all over the side walk. My clothes and random Marshall’s purchases were now spilling out of the completely ruptured paper bag and I was like oh my fucking god. I could hear my family’s i told you so’s in my head. Thankfully I had also stuffed a sparkling water in that bag and so I spilled it over the gooey sauce now seeping of the sidewalk. I looked like a total mess – picking up glass and gathering clothes in my arms. But I finally stuffed all the stuff that was in the bag in my arms and the other cloth bags and left my dignity there with the sauce and walked the five blocks home.

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