fun photo stuff: green screen on Insta

I take wayy to many photos than anyone has any right to (more than 50 thousand on my phone).  Soo embarrassing.  But one of the things I’m trying to learn is how to have the most fun with my photos and also to know all the tricks and stuff for how to edit photos.  This one is super fun and super easy.  I was my bikini on my Brooklyn porch getting golden looking out on my very parched and patchy Brooklyn grass wishing it was an ocean… wishing it was a clear blue ocean and the grass was not grass at all… that it was white sand.  Alas, we don’t have all of that in BK, NY.

And then I was on Instagram taking cute bikini pics cause I’m young & beautiful and won’t be that way forever.  And I came across the green screen filter and turned my bedroom into what I wish my backyard was.  My tipsy self was very very amused and I had quite a bit of fun as demonstrated below.  You just have to add a background photo to your camera roll and then upload it to your saved photos.  Then you take a mirror selfie or have a friend take a photo of you and there you are (in your dreams).  I just googled Turks & Caicos beach and Maldives beach because if I’m fantasizing I’m gonna do it big.  And I did another ridiculous ones.  The quality is so trash but it’s so funny to me.  Thank god I know how to have the best time and amuse myself lol.

E2FB34BB-D9AE-4845-840B-5E565A15A0FBMy room

IMG_6894What I made it look like

3CA4BDB4-9E68-4851-8711-525644619C91

Me pretending to be in Heaven lol

Quarantine, cashier life & pinatas

Hi! I am the worst at having a blog.

My life has changed drastically just like literally all of ours.  I usually work three jobs, my main job is a full-time nanny and then I have my cleaning business and I work as an assistant wedding planner.  Of course, all three of these jobs stopped existing in the face of this pandemic and for a very terrifying week, I was unemployed.  Then I sat down at my kitchen table with a coffee or cocktail (it was my one week of unemployment to be fair) and applied to every single job that I thought might take a college drop out like me.  I also dmed a few grocery stores because I thought they might be hiring asap and that was how I got the job of a cashier and the most expensive grocery store in the west village.  This is a place that charges $8 for a brick of cafe bustelo and there’s a tomato sauce that costs $12.99 (shout out to Rao’s for apparently being THAT good).  Of course, the pay minimum wage but I don’t have the type of savings that would allow for me to be unemployed for more than a week so I took the job.

My nannying job pays $25 an hour so the price drop has been a lot for me to deal with.  It’s also been hard not knowing when/if my job will return.  My nanny family moved from the west village to their beach house in New Jersey.  At the beginning of the virus, they wanted me to travel there and stay for three days of the week and then go home.  I did this for two weeks and then I had to stop because it felt very dangerous for an asthmatic like me to be traveling on the subway and the train all the time during a very deadly virus.  The day I traveled home from NJ for the last time a stay in place order was issued and I couldn’t have been happier to be in home sweet Brooklyn and not NJ.

The grocery store job is as soul-sucking as you’d imagine.  No one grows up saying they want to be a cashier and even if they did they’d take one look at the paycheck and change their mind.  Most of my co-workers are nice.  Some of them are snappy or up tight but it’s cause they’re miserable and I don’t blame them.  When I’m at that job I’m miserable too. It’s hard to go through eight hours having the same stunted interactions with people.  I ask the same questions to every person.  “Hello, how are you? Do you have a store card? Do you want bags? Would you like to donate a bundle or milk to COVID relief?”  The store I work for is doing a fundraiser for City Harvest which is well-intentioned but it’s so horrible to have to ask people for money during this time.  They’ll say no and then pull out their ebt card and you feel like such a dick for asking them for money to feed other people when they’re struggling too.  I always wish the store it’s self would donate money and leave their customers out of it.

Today was a good day though because I am trying to enjoy my life and make the very best of it all.  At work in my shitty work uniform and same pair of black sneakers, I try to bring myself to the register as well by doing my makeup like I would and never coming to work in my uniform.  I keep my polyester work shirt in my store locker and change into it at the last second so that I can feel like myself for as long as possible.  Today was also a good day because I got out at 12:45 pm and when I walked out of the sliding doors the sun was shining and the birds were screaming their little snow-white heads off.  I went home and fixed myself a drink (my new favorite: sunny d + lime juice + tequila + tajin) and got a facetime from an unknown number hung up on them.  I then immediately realized it was a facetime interview I had scheduled for that time.  I called her back and tried my best to show that I’m a very qualified hardworking nanny that’s good at what she does.

The highlight of my day was making a pinata.  My family and I used to do this many times a year.  We’d make them for my sisters and i’s birthday parties.  I was out of practice but doing it brought back so many warm memories of happier and more than anything brighter easier times.  The smell of the flour and water and feeling of the paste drying on my fingers was therapeutic.  The biggest part of me wishes I had the money and privilege to be fully quarantined and staying home during this time.  I would love to have the time to do all the wild and rather mundane fantasies I’ve had during my life of what I would do if I had time to figure out what I wanted to do.  While sliding the wet pieces of newspaper on to the balloon, I was so focused on getting the job done that I wasn’t thinking about how I was going to make rent, about savings, about food and all the ways I am falling short.  I was just focusing on this task that I had chosen to set in front of me not a bouquet of problems that was thrust into my face.  It was nice to reach out to my childhood in this simple and fun way and to even if just for a half-hour, to think about something different.

Now I have to wait a few days until this first layer of paper mache fully dries and then I’ll add a second layer.  Then I’ll stop being cheap and pull the trigger and buy some paint.  And then the hardest part for me comes.  Trying to be artistic and painting something on it.

Question:  Are you the type of person with enough patience for puzzles?

I for sure, am not.

Also, have you done any arts and crafts during the pandemic?  I would love to hear what you’ve been making 🙂

I went to Sugarland, Texas + these are my random thoughts, suggestions and loves

I went to Sugarland, Texas with my boyfriend to meet his family.  Sugarland is right outside of Houston and has the loveliest name of any town ever in my opinion.  Also I’m from NYC so I just tried to do all the Texasy things and soak up the culture and stuff my face.  Texas is kind of the opposite of New York.  And from my 12 days there, my investigation concludes in my opinion… yes everything is bigger in Texas.

1. Kolaches are awesome.  They are like giant pigs in a blanket.  And the dough is so fluffy and amazing.  Also I had never had a sour cream donut which was so good and I had a really intense apple fritter.

2. If you go to What-a-burger (which I recommend you do)  I suggest going before 11am and getting the honey butter chicken biscuit (even better than it sounds) and the patties melt (try the spicy ketchup!) but I also recommend not eating them one after the other cause I felt like I was going to die.

3.  I just really enjoyed seeing more of the sky.  I saw more stars than I ever see in NYC and theres really no mountains so you just see how expansive the sky is which is really humbling.

4.  Activities: We went to the Houston Zoo for their Christmas lights exhibit.  It’s really enchanting.  At the entrance there is a fountain and on each side of the fountain there are trees covered in Christmas lights and the lights go to the christmassy music playing.  And that’s before you even enter the actual light walk.  There’s a psychedelic part, a light tunnel and its really the perfect place to get a photo for your Christmas card.  You have to be fast though cause every one wants to get a photo for they’re Christmas card.

The Houston aquarium: It has a Ferris wheel and one of those rides that gives you butterflies in your stomach.  They have piranhas, really cool florescent jellly fish type creatures, a really depressed white tiger, and a place where you can touch and feed stingrays.  They’re slimey and soft at the same time and I couldn’t really find they’re mouth but Nick did and they will suck the fish right out of your hand.

Brazos Bend State Park – It’s a really lovely swampy park where you can see tons of alligators just chilling.  Nick’s grandparent’s have been there and seen 50 in one day but since it was after the flood they hadn’t seen humans in months and months so the park ranger said they were spooked by us since they hadn’t seen us for a while they thought we had died out.  So we only saw like five of them (but two babies!).  It’s a nice place to picnic or bring your lawn chair and relax.  Or to climb trees.

The Renaissance Fair – I’ve been to a renaissance fair but it didn’t compare at all to this extravaganza.  There are buildings that were built just for it.  There are turkey legs, wenches you can drench (by throwing a bean bag at a specific button while she insults you), there are baby goats dressed as Santa Claus, there are strangers calling you my lord and my lady, there is face painting, and fire whips, and dragon puppets and fencing and beautiful gardens and it’s really so amazing and overwhelming (in the good way) and it’s completely like anything I’ve ever experienced.

5.  Instead of drinking water like you’re supposed to I consumed as much sweet tea as possible which was easy cause it was everywhere.  It was awesome.

6.  Also I ate my first real bbq meal and it was amazing.  We had brisket (melt in your mouth and amazing ) and ribs.  All the employees at the place wore shirts that said I didn’t crawl my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!

7. There are lots of strip malls. And lots of houses that look the same. There are a lot of fried things.  There are a lot of Texas flags.