This is $75 of groceries

When I was little I imagined that $75 of groceries would look like so much more than this. In these bags are the recipes to three meals to feed me this week: marinara spinach orzo, sesame ginger tofu with broccoli and egg quesadillas and some milk and cafe bustelo. That’s it.

January Favorites

This is the year I do my favorites every month. Or so she says in the first year of the month :)) fingers crossed.  I hope that we are all still full of hope for this year.

Pozole: I am a Mexican and I have finally learned how to make Pozole and I feel so alive lol.  Now that I’ve completed this rite of passage I am pretty much living off of it this winter.

Cyc spin class: I tried SoulCycle and that shit was too corny for me and also way too much money. Though I did like that they had Drunken Elephant skincare products in the bathroom.  I like Cyc cause it’s about the music and they’re not judgy.  It’s “beat based” and the instructors are inspirational but not over the top.  Also they’re cheaper at $22 a class vs. SoulCycle’s thirty-something.

The dessert: I grew up in the mountains and love the beach.  My dad grew up in the dessert and it was so amazing experiencing it on our way into Mexicali. I love the stillness of it, the feeling of being alone (until immigration inevitably shows up).  I also really love the color scheme.

Rica juice: tastes like orange juice but better cause it’s a little unhealthy

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Cheer on Netflix: It’s insanely impressive and I booked a workout for the next morning after the 1st episode.  It’s about the best cheerleaders in the USA (maybe the world?) leading up to the championship and it’s one of those shows that leaves you in awe of what humans can do.  It’s also beautifully shot and makes you fall in love with the people it’s about.

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This is my favorite body lotion and has been for a while.  It smells like Jolly Ranches and absorbs quicker than any other lotion I’ve ever used.

This recipe: I switched out the miso paste for tables spoons of trader joe’s boxed miso soup.  And I couldn’t find Tamari sauce at my grocery store so we used thick soba sauce and my grocery failed once again in not having Brussel sprouts so we used broccoli.  Long story short it was delicious and amazing and tasted like something made in a restaurant and not by my incompetent hands.  The sauce was insanely good and we covered it in lime juice. It was a wow meal

 

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Hanalei Lip Treatment in clear:  It feels really luxurious and makes your lips feel lush and protected.  This has been my go to during this season of dry and red skin and so far my lips haven’t been chapped.  My very favorite thing about it might be the smell which is sweet and comforting.

Dislikes:

Global warming: It so real and so apparent here in NYC.  We had basically no snow in December and it’s been raining.  I’ve worn sundresses in January.  It’s so strange and jarring and please let me know what I can do to help.

Duvets: more trouble than they’re worth. I’m a professional cleaner who has changed them and dealt with them a million times and I still hate them.  I just wash my comforter and its easier than washing the duvet cover and doing the whole ugly gymnastic routine to get it on the duvet.

an emotional girl recommends red outfits

Hi internet void!

In December a bunch of the emotions I’d been gleefully and stoically suppressing started to demand I stop ignoring them! LOL was truly the most wonderful time of the year.  In the year 2019 I went through a really painful break up the most painful and only one I’ve ever had.  I am still processing it and working through the trauma and just intensity of it all.  We were living together at the time and then had to go through a horrible fire, friends staying at our house to visit and of course, both of our individual resentments and mental issues clashing and it was pure stress and suffering.  December was mourning and joy cause it was the first month I realized that everything ends and that was a pain and a relief for me.

I always look forward to the Christmas season though cause even if I’m truly going through it all the music and people tipping well and decorations cheer me up and keep me engaged and excited for every day of the year.  Last December I was going through a red phase and wore 3 red outfits that I really loved.  I was feeling really into red as it seemed to express my year and how I felt about it.  I was in red hot love and everything felt very intense. Here they are:

  1. I wore this dress to go see the Rockefeller Tree with all my friends. We put some baileys in our coffee and then danced in some midtown overpriced bar after and demanded they play bachata.  We got one song of it.   This dress is light and breathable.  I love that it comes with a belt because hourglass girls like me love to cinch our waists any time we get the chance.2. I wore this dress to see the neighborhood tree lighting with my best friend.  I made really delicious buttered apple cider and brought it there.  We got tons of nasty looks from insecure couples and from rude parents cause we didn’t have kids with us and we were taking flash photos of our beautiful selves 🙂  This was my first day wearing this dress and the rotweiler puppy I take care of decided to be a total dick and bit the side.  She made a 4 inch hole which I “fixed” with tape and a stapler cause I didn’t have time to go home and change after work and also I love the fit.  The dog still hasn’t apologized and I am still procrastinating sewing it.
  2. 3. This is probably my favorite look.  I went to look in the Adika pop up in NYC because I have a pair of biking shorts I love from them.  Most of the stuff was ordinary and too trendy for me but I instantly fell in love with this and had to have it as soon as I tried it on. I wore it to my dad’s holiday party and crowned myself in the top 5 best dressed. You can also wear it a bunch of sluttier ways but didn’t want to do that at my dads work party lol.

Links: The first dress is sold out.

2nd Dress

2rd outfit:

Pants

Top

December Favorites

I can’t tell y’all how happy I am that 2019 is over.  It had me all types of fucked up 🙂 Here are my favorite things of my favorite month of last year. Yes, I am late and writing from the first day of the new year and now I’m writing even later and publishing on the 7th day of the new year (#procrastination).

1.The 52 List Series:  This year I am gonig to really try to be an organized person who knows whats important to her and priotitzes those things and people. These books are so asthetically pleasing and fun to use and helpful. I have the planner and the 52 list project book.  I’m also a very type A person and enjoy planning things and it makes me feel in control. If you’re like this then you’ll love these books so you can pretend to have control over your life lmao.

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2. Lip gloss: I’m having a new renaissance of lip gloss. I like how it makes you look fresh and healthy and alive. The way I’ve been sleeping or not sleeping, I need all the help I can get. My favorites are this one and this one.

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3. Packing cubes: Every instagram travel influencer raves about these and like everything else they recommend I usually take it as white noice and ignore it.  But as someone who has never done a good job packing I thought it would be worth a try.  It is really helpful cause it helps you sort your suitcase like it’s drawers. Also it looks way less stressful than a bunch of clothes that were once carefully folded and is not chaos.  My mottos is less chaos 2020. I got these ones cause they were cheapest and came in a pretty light blue.

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4. These are so pretty that they are making the transition from christmas decoration to winter decoration.

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5.  Carne asada: both the party and the meat.  I went to Mexico for Christmas break and learned so much about my own culture.  I’ve missed out on a lot by living so far from the Mexican side of my family.  I had never in my life experienced food that was so rich and whipped up like it was nothing.  I was emotional the whole trip learning about my grandparents and discovering the stories of their lives that I never knew.  I was emotional at the carne asada listening to my dad and his sister cry and sing mariachi, I was emotional trying the smooth guacamole salsa verde, I was emotional struggling to speak Spanish to my relatives that didn’t speak English and I was emotional sipping my cafe on the patio in the sun while dogs ran about.  And now one of my 2020 resolutions is to learn how to cook Mexican food (especially tamales, menudo, posole and tacos).  My best friend whose boriqua and I are gonna do Sunday dinner every other week and one week will be Mexican food and the next week will be Puerto Rican food and we will learn both of our cultures cuisine together.

 

Dislikes:

  1. The cycle of being broke so buying a cheap computer and then the computer breaking and then having it break and then buying another cheap computer and now I’m almost at the ammount of money it would take to buy the computer I actually want new (macbook air)
  2. January and Feburary. What are the bright sides? Shitty freezing slushymonths with a holiday that is only fun if you’re in love and there’s a lot of us who aren’t.  And some of us are starving in these new diets smh.
  3. Milk going bad so damn quickly.  It’s a real rough start to my morning when my coffee is ready but my milk is… rotten.

Knives Out Review

I saw knives out and loved it even though that shit was triggering and I was considering walking out in the begining. For a big part of the movie it seems like they’re portraying immigrants as careless fuck ups who is to blame for everything. I think is a really careless thing to do at the moment especially in a movie that seems to be self aware of the American political moment. Please be warned that this is quite a bit more than a clue murder mystery. It’s politically charged and as a Mexican American it got to me. A lot of it is about the political climate and charged conversations what are happening between white families at gatherings.
The cast is fabulous and it’s amazingly acted. I never knew where it was going but also I never am able to guess who did it in mysteries. All my favorite movies have shots that I’ll never forget and that I think of when I think back on the movie and that I can see like I’m gonna watching it again. This movie has moments like that that I’ll not soon forget for example the close up on Marta’s face when the will is read, and of course of course the iconic last shot.  The end was my favorite part and made me feel fully entertained and full of hope.
My only critique of the movie is that once again Hollywood could and should have casted a person of color and didn’t.  The lead is white passing and I think the character if it was a real story happening in the real world would have been a brown woman but Hollywood wouldn’t do it. The movie was so fresh and bold in so many ways and yet STILL they couldn’t cast a person of color for the lead. Once again Hollywood like telenovelas casts Latina’s who look more like me and who look more European.  It’s sick and disappointing that in almost 2020 it’s still considered bold to cast a brown person as the lead.

Small Ways to be more Eco Friendly

I was thinking of how I can be better to the world in the shower today (while trying step by step to unwind).  It’s hard not to constantly stress about the state of the planet and these little things have helped me turn that anxiety into action (no matter how small).  Do what you can and don’t beat your self up 🙂

  1. When you don’t need one ask for no receipt.
  2. Pack your own lunch in a reusable lunch container.
  3. Go thrifting! Also, this is so fun because there’s nothing more rewarding than getting a unique piece for way cheaper then you would at a place that makes thousands of the same item.
  4. Bring your own water bottle from home and refill it when you drink it all instead of buying a disposable plastic water bottle.  And if you do forget and need to buy a plastic water bottle refill it and use it a few times before you toss it.
  5. Wash your hair less.  I used to wash my hair every time I got in the shower (every day) and then I read how actually this isn’t good for your hair and strips it of your natural oils that make it shiny and healthy-looking.  I now wash my hair once every few showers and go through shampoo and conditioner a lot less then I used to and my hair looks way better than before. Win, win.
  6. See if you could be a paper towel/napkin free home and use rags and cloth napkins instead.
  7. Turn off the lights when you leave the room.

November Favorites

Trying this whole blogging thing once again because I am trying to come back to myself and come back to joy.  And I did find joy in the chronicling of my life that is blogging.  One of the parts I missed the most was at the end of the month deciding what were my favorite things.  I’m hoping to do all 12 months of 2020 so we shall see.

1. Table topics – I was just doing this with my best friend and she just said these were for people who don’t know how to hold a conversation. I disagree and I think they’re fun and I was doing them with my best friend and was finding out things I’ve never known and she’s someone who I spend so much time with.  I just bought it to keep it on my table. Here are some questions I like: what do you admire about your parents? and If you spend the weekend in any city which would you choose?

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2. False lashes – I have just discovered false lashes and I don’t think I ever will go back.  I love a full face of makeup and these make me feel like a glamorous woman and photo ready.  I also thought they were a lot harder to put on then they are.

Here are my favorite ones, the ones above (they are super cheap): false mink and cat eye

3. My adorable patio set – Just in time for it to get freezing outside I finally bought my cute little patio set and it looks just as sweet as I thought it would.  Also there was no set up at all which is good cause furniture set up and I don’t mesh.

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4. This nail polish 

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5. Persimmons – It’s persimmon season, baby!

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6. Sitting like this in the morning – it makes me feel awake and hopefully does something good for you?

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7.  The Balance app – It takes your birthday and birthtime and gives you a daily paragraph relating to your life. It seems really spot on and gives good advice every day.  I feel like it’s pretty insightful and always gives me something new to pay attention to in myself/to work on. And it’s free so worth a shot lol.

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8. NYT Cooking – I did thanksgiving this year as in planned it and cooked almost all of it and it wouldn’t have been possible without this app and website.  All my recipes were from there and most of them were simpler than I imagined.  They also had a whole list or recpies for vegan thanksgiving which was helpful as I never cooked vegan food before and half of our dinner guests were vegan.

This is what I made.

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9. Phone wallet – I started stupid and had one of those that was just little pocket and lost my debit card cause it fell out right before I had to leave town (do not reccomend).  And then after that I bought the linked one which was such a game changer for me.  The little flap makes it feel like a real secure wallet that you can close and it’s easier to leave the house with just phone/wallet and keys than keys, wallet and phone.  And it’s easier to not lose one thing than to not lose two.

10. Space heater – This is a contender for the best $20 I’ve ever spent cause it really saves my life once a week when my heats being wonky.  I don’t have a large room at all but it heats the whole thing up really quickly and it’s really small.  I have vents that come up from the basement so cold air always tires to sneak in and I also have a window right by where my head rests and a door to the backyrard in my room so my room is really prone to be freezing anytime.  This heater fixes that in less than 5 mins.

 

learning how to do eyeliner & other things I should already know how to do

My favorite season of the year has officially begun and with this the world gets nicer, cosier and I cling tighter to my loved ones.  Yesterday my best friend and I met by Colombus Circle to get hot chocolate and chai and walk around Central Park.  She had just been on a date there that didn’t lead to anything so she wanted to replace the association with a happy one.  We put our diamonds rings on our ring finger so people would leave us alone even though we are both very single. It was the perfect brisk but not shivery weather so it was lovely and calming.

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I did this eyeliner look because I’m trying okay.  I tried (in vain) in high school to learn how to do makeup but my high school bff was the queen of it and mine looked especially wonky right next to hers.  So I am trying again and it’s not as impossible as I hyped it up to be, it just takes me forever.

I really like how it came out and how I felt like a boss bitch. My hair was all the way slicked back and my makeup was all the way done and my hoops were on.  I’m usually self-conscious when my hair is back like this but because I had really put in the effort to my makeup and caked it on like there’s no tomorrow I felt powerful and confident.  We went to this really smelly and regular dive bar in the East Village and we met one of my friends and talked about our traumas over $4 beers.

It was a good time.

The 2nd strange man I’ve hit in the last month

5 minutes ago I was walking to the subway from work to go to my hot yoga class listening to my favorite podcast in Spanish Radio Ambulante when I noticed a strange man barreling towards me. The two hours I had between two jobs were supposed to be sacred at at least tranquil. The man was screaming and then he was screaming at me and I took out my headphones and he got in my space and shoved me. I said “get the fuck away from me” and he didn’t. He screamed “pussy, cunt” and then I stopped yelling and instead smiled condescendingly at his face and said “look at yourself” and put an arm in stop signal between us. Then I walked away, heart beat loud and knife buried way too deep in my bag.

In my periferal while this happened I noticed a few men stop in their tracks and watch to make sure I had it under control to watch to see I wouldn’t get hurt. I took care of it and myself as I like to and have to and do. I started to walk away and then noticed there was a cop standing there and I told him what had happened and he said that he had seen it and that’s why he’d walked out of the building he was in (the hospital). He didn’t do anything though but give me a slight attitude for telling him what he had apparently seen and decided to to nothing about. Now I’m on the subway and I think I’m gonna be late to my class.

The first guy who I hit was a guy who saw a girl about my age on her bike and he was in his walking path. Instead of being normal or regular and walking around her he kicked her bike down. She fell in the middle of the street in front of the container store and I hit him in the shoulder. I cursed at him and he cursed back and walked away. The girl was shaken like I am now. Nerve endings shaking and heart breathing a little bit off sync probably.

There’s really no moral or point to this except that men are dangerous and I have impulse control issues. All the danger I’ve ever been in has been because of a male adversary. I just hope we’re all careful and that we don’t run into the wrong person.