an emotional girl recommends red outfits

Hi internet void!

In December a bunch of the emotions I’d been gleefully and stoically suppressing started to demand I stop ignoring them! LOL was truly the most wonderful time of the year.  In the year 2019 I went through a really painful break up the most painful and only one I’ve ever had.  I am still processing it and working through the trauma and just intensity of it all.  We were living together at the time and then had to go through a horrible fire, friends staying at our house to visit and of course, both of our individual resentments and mental issues clashing and it was pure stress and suffering.  December was mourning and joy cause it was the first month I realized that everything ends and that was a pain and a relief for me.

I always look forward to the Christmas season though cause even if I’m truly going through it all the music and people tipping well and decorations cheer me up and keep me engaged and excited for every day of the year.  Last December I was going through a red phase and wore 3 red outfits that I really loved.  I was feeling really into red as it seemed to express my year and how I felt about it.  I was in red hot love and everything felt very intense. Here they are:

  1. I wore this dress to go see the Rockefeller Tree with all my friends. We put some baileys in our coffee and then danced in some midtown overpriced bar after and demanded they play bachata.  We got one song of it.   This dress is light and breathable.  I love that it comes with a belt because hourglass girls like me love to cinch our waists any time we get the chance.2. I wore this dress to see the neighborhood tree lighting with my best friend.  I made really delicious buttered apple cider and brought it there.  We got tons of nasty looks from insecure couples and from rude parents cause we didn’t have kids with us and we were taking flash photos of our beautiful selves 🙂  This was my first day wearing this dress and the rotweiler puppy I take care of decided to be a total dick and bit the side.  She made a 4 inch hole which I “fixed” with tape and a stapler cause I didn’t have time to go home and change after work and also I love the fit.  The dog still hasn’t apologized and I am still procrastinating sewing it.
  2. 3. This is probably my favorite look.  I went to look in the Adika pop up in NYC because I have a pair of biking shorts I love from them.  Most of the stuff was ordinary and too trendy for me but I instantly fell in love with this and had to have it as soon as I tried it on. I wore it to my dad’s holiday party and crowned myself in the top 5 best dressed. You can also wear it a bunch of sluttier ways but didn’t want to do that at my dads work party lol.

Links: The first dress is sold out.

2nd Dress

2rd outfit:

Pants

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December Favorites

I can’t tell y’all how happy I am that 2019 is over.  It had me all types of fucked up 🙂 Here are my favorite things of my favorite month of last year. Yes, I am late and writing from the first day of the new year and now I’m writing even later and publishing on the 7th day of the new year (#procrastination).

1.The 52 List Series:  This year I am gonig to really try to be an organized person who knows whats important to her and priotitzes those things and people. These books are so asthetically pleasing and fun to use and helpful. I have the planner and the 52 list project book.  I’m also a very type A person and enjoy planning things and it makes me feel in control. If you’re like this then you’ll love these books so you can pretend to have control over your life lmao.

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2. Lip gloss: I’m having a new renaissance of lip gloss. I like how it makes you look fresh and healthy and alive. The way I’ve been sleeping or not sleeping, I need all the help I can get. My favorites are this one and this one.

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3. Packing cubes: Every instagram travel influencer raves about these and like everything else they recommend I usually take it as white noice and ignore it.  But as someone who has never done a good job packing I thought it would be worth a try.  It is really helpful cause it helps you sort your suitcase like it’s drawers. Also it looks way less stressful than a bunch of clothes that were once carefully folded and is not chaos.  My mottos is less chaos 2020. I got these ones cause they were cheapest and came in a pretty light blue.

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4. These are so pretty that they are making the transition from christmas decoration to winter decoration.

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5.  Carne asada: both the party and the meat.  I went to Mexico for Christmas break and learned so much about my own culture.  I’ve missed out on a lot by living so far from the Mexican side of my family.  I had never in my life experienced food that was so rich and whipped up like it was nothing.  I was emotional the whole trip learning about my grandparents and discovering the stories of their lives that I never knew.  I was emotional at the carne asada listening to my dad and his sister cry and sing mariachi, I was emotional trying the smooth guacamole salsa verde, I was emotional struggling to speak Spanish to my relatives that didn’t speak English and I was emotional sipping my cafe on the patio in the sun while dogs ran about.  And now one of my 2020 resolutions is to learn how to cook Mexican food (especially tamales, menudo, posole and tacos).  My best friend whose boriqua and I are gonna do Sunday dinner every other week and one week will be Mexican food and the next week will be Puerto Rican food and we will learn both of our cultures cuisine together.

 

Dislikes:

  1. The cycle of being broke so buying a cheap computer and then the computer breaking and then having it break and then buying another cheap computer and now I’m almost at the ammount of money it would take to buy the computer I actually want new (macbook air)
  2. January and Feburary. What are the bright sides? Shitty freezing slushymonths with a holiday that is only fun if you’re in love and there’s a lot of us who aren’t.  And some of us are starving in these new diets smh.
  3. Milk going bad so damn quickly.  It’s a real rough start to my morning when my coffee is ready but my milk is… rotten.

and after laziness comes errands

Hello internet void,

My best friend came to visit on Monday and since she wakes up every day at approximately 2pm I made the unconscious decision to live that lifestyle while she was here… and I’m not mad at it.  I had this week off because my nanny family went on vacation to the Dominican Republic.  Our routine this week was to wake up a 2 ish and then make coffee and I’d eat my typical egg breakfast and I’d make Olivia egg breakfast which she’d peck at and then we’d make coffee again and then we’d talk and we left the house at least one day but we just sat and talked about our anxiety and stress about the future and indecisiveness and abusive ex-boyfriends and the fact that we pile our clothes all over our room and don’t know if we’ll ever stop.  We also watched the whole show the Umbrella Academy 1) because it’s very good and entertaining and 2) because Olivia is in love with Robert Sheehan.  One of the perks of having Olivia as a house guest is she cooks and very well.  One of my reoccurring high school memories is her making me delicious foods with goat cheese in it.  She made us pork chops with a delicious tangy tomato sauce and fried rice.  It was amazing and so full of flavor.  It’s especially impressive because she never uses a recipe, she just sees what ingredients she has to work with and turns it into something delectable and makes it look easy.  Anyways… it was so good to catch up with my bestfriend and have her here and I got more than 6 hours of sleep and a real home made meal for the first time in weeks.  But I was falling behind on my work and today when I woke up I realized I had to play catch up and hard.

I have been going through the task rabbit application process for a little more than a month (more than a month because I kept procrastination watching the how to videos) but as of yesterday I had been verified and my account was up and running.  I had finally gotten approved and promptly forgot about it until I got a job for today.  Which is so awesome.  I’ve been on a few apps with my tiny business Cleaning con Flores but some I had literally never gotten business from and one (Romio) I’d gotten business from but very few and very far between as it is a newer less established app.  I’m pretty happy with task rabbit because so far I have been asked to do three tasks and completed one job today and I have on schedule for tomorrow (the other one was canceled by the client).  I’m really impressed and excited about it so far.

My next errand was to pick up my to do list book from the public library in the West Village.  The West Village is where I work for nannying so I am always at that library with the 3 year old.  I always bring my to do list pad because it has rippable paper and drawing in that book under the right circumstances can be a big hit with my charge.  Unfortunately for me I also write poetry in the book which gave me lots of stress when I left it there cause I really don’t want the librarians who see me 4 times a week with my three year old to read my bad poetry.  Somehow I took deep breaths told my self that they didn’t look in my book and just hope that they didn’t read my lame poetry.  So weird. I called ahead to make sure they had it and then I waited a week to pick it up cause I was busy being lazy and binging Netflix with Olivia for the majority of the week. Priorities.

My third get back in the working girl game thing I had to do was go to this bar that we’re interested in having a wedding after party in and talk to the manager.  We had no meeting set up or anything, it was just time to show up in person cause they hadn’t responded to any of my calls or emails.  My boss is the best most thoughtful boss in the world so when I told her that I was headed to the taco bar she venmoed me $30 for a margarita cause apparently it’s national margarita day.  What I did to deserve her …. I will never know.

The last and of course what ended up being the most problematic thing was something that sounds so simple; picking up a prepaid computer.  My computer broke a few weeks ago and since one of my jobs is a work from the computer job I had to buy a new one the same day the old one broke.  My parents very very kindly bought me a new one   I literally bought the same one again, just the newer model and they send off the old one saying that the geek squad will try to fix it and it would be covered in the warranty if it could be fixed.  I said great, if it can be fixed please send it to some Best Buy in the lower half of Manhattan.  At this point, it all still seems so simple.  I got the email saying it was repaired and ready to be picked up.  Great.  I clicked track on the email to see where it was dropped off to see which Best Buy it was shipped to and it just said New York, NY.  So I called the number on the email and asked which Best Buy it was shipped to.  And got put on hold and got put on hold and got put on another hold.  Then after like 20 mins of waiting the woman said that it had been shipped to the Best Buy on Colombus Circle. I said that’s strange cause I specifically asked for it to get shipped to a best buy on the lower end of Manhattan and I asked if she could please check again.  She did and still the same address. So I hopped out of the Sephora I had been browsing in (actually not just browsing, I got another Stila glitter and glow eyeshadow in the beautiful color Spiritual) and hopped on the subway to head to the Best Buy.

Once I arrived there I was told that it wasn’t there and that it was in a Best Buy in NoHo.  At this point, I had been on the subway four times that very day and I was carrying a backpack with lots of cleaning supplies and I was over it.  The very kind and patient Best Buy associate told me after he looked again that it was definitely not there and he called the NoHo store who confirmed that yes it was there waiting for me just one more subway ride (and two transfers) away.  I had less than an hour to get there and through my exhaustion, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  That light was the margaritas that Nick would make me when I got home.  So I dragged my feet to the subway and arrived at the NoHo store where a very kind and knowing woman helped me (“I just got off the phone with your Mom, she said.  “She told me you were on your way.”) We talked about our random non NYC home towns and she got me out of there very quickly.

After that I went to a Whole Foods (i wanted to go to a non bougie grocery store but this is NoHo after all) got some Margarita supplies and headed home.  to the light.

stupidest thing i did today

Last night I worked a wedding with my best friend.  It was the hardest wedding I worked just cause I fucked up two times and was just so very over it and so very bad at my job.  Tiana slept over and I was so tired I slept in until almost 1pm this morning and by the time I woke up she was long gone.  She texted me that she had slam locked the door and out door doesn’t slam lock but I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to make her feel bad.  I was having a very slow morning (considering it wasn’t morning) and decided to check the mail to see if I had any checks waiting for me.  Because I’m a lovable idiot I usually don’t take my house keys when I go to check the mail cause our door doesn’t lock unless you lock it and I’m on the 1st floor so the mailbox is literally right there in the lobby.  So I went out in my PJ’s and checked the mail (also I had a check :)) and when I went to go back into my lovely cosy home it was locked.  So here I was standing in the hallway in my insanely big grey knit cardigan with crazy exhausted eyes and just my phone on me.  I texted my super but he responded that he would be at church until 5pm. I ended up taking an very expensive lyft to my boyfriends job (we works on a ferry boat).  So I just went to a dock and met one of his coworkers and got the keys from him and didn’t even get to see my novio.  I lost $50 and a few hours on my precious day off cause I don’t think things through.  Anyways the moral of the story is if your best friend says she slam locked the door she slam locked the door!!

my favorite ceiling

I love Grand Central station.  I’m sadly rarely there cause I’m always on buses so that means I’m always at Grand Centrals ugly grey brash distant relative Port Authority.  Grand Central is elegant, gorgeous and romantic (people take wedding photos there).  My Mom said when she was younger and NYC was much druggier the ceiling of Grand Central station was really grimy and it was so dirty you couln’t even see the art work.  Tiana and I worked a wedding in North Salem yesterday and we met at 6:30 at the clock.  She brought me coffee which was truly an angel move and I did my makeup on the train and we bought tried pep talking each other into feeling like working lol.  IMG_8809.jpeg