worth your $20: Bikini Edition

Listen, I’m a lazy fuck who forgets that birthdays are happening until they’re basically here and who doesn’t like to go shopping in actual stores cause it causes me duress and lots of stress so I get my bikinis from Amazon and hope for the best. I ordered two for my vacation to Martinique.  I love this one because it’s very vacationy and I love this shade of orange.  This top is very supportive and I love that the straps are adjustable. And high waisted bikinis are a lifestyle to me. This one is $16.99 and available for prime. The link is here.

Screenshot 2019-03-16 at 8.22.31 AMwhat it looks like on the internet

what it looks like on me (an unphotoshopped girl)

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The orange one was my favorite bikini I ordered.

This other one is very lovely as well, my only complaint is that after wearing it in the pool and the ocean for a few days the elastic in the top got a bit worn and it was looser on the top.  It was still really cute and made me feel like Brigitte Bardot in her white bikini.

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This bikini is my version of that with a little more coverage for my areas that need it lol.  The fabric is nice and thick. Here is the photo on the website. And this is the link.  It is $17.99 and available for prime.

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This is me in the bikini in real life on the beach 🙂

I hope that you have a vacation coming up soon and I hope you find a bikini that makes you feel gorgeous!

& three is a party

On my first week off in a whole real while, my best friend came to stay at my house.  My nanny family was vacationing in the Dominican Republic and I was ready to have a staycation.  I went upstate to visit my family for a day and then Olive came back with me which felt so good cause it was like bringing a piece of my hometown back to my home.

We slept in, we drank excessive amounts of coffee, we watched Yummy Mummys (terrible but entertaining tv) and the Umbrella Academy (good tv) and also I used my prized possession, my blender and made margaritas and we got drunk in my living room.  Being young and extra as we are we got dressed up and put on heels and we danced our very uncoordinated hearts out in my living room to salsa that blared from the google home.  It was delicious innocent fun.  For a moment there we even flirted with the idea of leaving the house but that is not really our style (mi novio, Olive and I have hermit tendencies and we had everything we needed in the house anyway).

It was so much fun and I even danced even though I can not dance and know so very well.  I was the perfect level of drunk and I felt good the next morning.  When I get drunk I get hyper and then I get sleepy so after we stopped dancing we started watching Yummy Mummies again and I left to change out of my itchy Fashion Nova evening gown into PJ’s and just accidentally stripped down to my underwear and fell asleep in my bed leaving Olivia and mi novio to Yummy Mummies lol.  Anyways here are three photos from that night that I love and adore.  And I hope you have a three-person party soon.  It’s fun, it’s cheap, it’s safe, it’s easy and you can play whatever damn music you’d like.  10/10 would recommend

 

 

very late oscars best dressed

These are my Oscars best dressed (in no particular order cause making decisions are hard and it is 1:41 AM).  The best part of the Oscars to me is the fashion and thinking of all the people it took to make that one person look that good.  The Oscar’s are sometimes inspiring and sometimes sickening cause I can’t stop thinking about all the people who have so so much less than these people (including my lovely self who is sipping her cup of noodles as she rights this).  But anyways here are some very beautiful people in very beautiful dresses. And I hope we all get raises this week!

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Amandla Stenberg

I love a 20’s look and she looks like such a goddess.

 

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Gemma Chan

I love it cause it’s elegant and fun and dramatic all at the same time.  Also, I really appreciate how minimal they kept the hair and makeup.

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Chrissy Teigen

I think this is a really pretty color in her and I love how elegant and sexy this dress is.  I’m really obsessed with it and how it looks like she’s wearing a glamorous scarf but she doesn’t actually do have to deal with wearing it and positioning it right.  Perfection.

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Emily Ratajkowski

Ruffles were really big this Oscars.  I love how sexy this dress is and I love a good fit and flare, though I would have made it a different color.

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Emilia Clarke

I am so obsessed with this dress.  It is lavender and sparkly and those are two of my favorite things in this world. I want it.

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Laura Harrier

This is one of my favorite colors and the jewelry on this dress is so intricated and delightful.  This is such a princess dress and I love.  I would have worn a different necklace though.

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Ashley Graham

This is giving me bad ass Carmen Sandiago on a date vibes so obviously I’m a fan.

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Tessa Thompson

I love this dress. Again this was a big Oscars for ruffles.  Love the gold accenting and the strategic ruffling.

hello internet void

Hello internet,

I have not given up on this blog.  I just have been busy and prioritizing other things.  Good things are happening! Bad things are happening!  The internship that I had turned into a part time job, I’m trying to stay hydrated!  I’ve been procrastinating cleaning my room for weeks!  I’m still a nanny!  I have a week of this coming week for the first time in years!  I’m going on a vacation and it’s the first vacation that I’ve ever taken!  I’m so excited!  I’m so stressed financially!  I have been declined from 80 literary magazines on submittable!  I left my poetry journal in the children’s room of a library!  My rent doubled in price!  I got a really beautiful coat!  I am watching la casa de papel and it’s one of the best shows I’ve ever seen in my life!

This is some of the things that are new!  I’m really gonna try to make this a real functioning blog!

That’s all.

If anyones reading this thats cool.

xoxo,

Tessa