fun photo stuff: green screen on Insta

I take wayy to many photos than anyone has any right to (more than 50 thousand on my phone).  Soo embarrassing.  But one of the things I’m trying to learn is how to have the most fun with my photos and also to know all the tricks and stuff for how to edit photos.  This one is super fun and super easy.  I was my bikini on my Brooklyn porch getting golden looking out on my very parched and patchy Brooklyn grass wishing it was an ocean… wishing it was a clear blue ocean and the grass was not grass at all… that it was white sand.  Alas, we don’t have all of that in BK, NY.

And then I was on Instagram taking cute bikini pics cause I’m young & beautiful and won’t be that way forever.  And I came across the green screen filter and turned my bedroom into what I wish my backyard was.  My tipsy self was very very amused and I had quite a bit of fun as demonstrated below.  You just have to add a background photo to your camera roll and then upload it to your saved photos.  Then you take a mirror selfie or have a friend take a photo of you and there you are (in your dreams).  I just googled Turks & Caicos beach and Maldives beach because if I’m fantasizing I’m gonna do it big.  And I did another ridiculous ones.  The quality is so trash but it’s so funny to me.  Thank god I know how to have the best time and amuse myself lol.

E2FB34BB-D9AE-4845-840B-5E565A15A0FBMy room

IMG_6894What I made it look like

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Me pretending to be in Heaven lol

Quarantine, cashier life & pinatas

Hi! I am the worst at having a blog.

My life has changed drastically just like literally all of ours.  I usually work three jobs, my main job is a full-time nanny and then I have my cleaning business and I work as an assistant wedding planner.  Of course, all three of these jobs stopped existing in the face of this pandemic and for a very terrifying week, I was unemployed.  Then I sat down at my kitchen table with a coffee or cocktail (it was my one week of unemployment to be fair) and applied to every single job that I thought might take a college drop out like me.  I also dmed a few grocery stores because I thought they might be hiring asap and that was how I got the job of a cashier and the most expensive grocery store in the west village.  This is a place that charges $8 for a brick of cafe bustelo and there’s a tomato sauce that costs $12.99 (shout out to Rao’s for apparently being THAT good).  Of course, the pay minimum wage but I don’t have the type of savings that would allow for me to be unemployed for more than a week so I took the job.

My nannying job pays $25 an hour so the price drop has been a lot for me to deal with.  It’s also been hard not knowing when/if my job will return.  My nanny family moved from the west village to their beach house in New Jersey.  At the beginning of the virus, they wanted me to travel there and stay for three days of the week and then go home.  I did this for two weeks and then I had to stop because it felt very dangerous for an asthmatic like me to be traveling on the subway and the train all the time during a very deadly virus.  The day I traveled home from NJ for the last time a stay in place order was issued and I couldn’t have been happier to be in home sweet Brooklyn and not NJ.

The grocery store job is as soul-sucking as you’d imagine.  No one grows up saying they want to be a cashier and even if they did they’d take one look at the paycheck and change their mind.  Most of my co-workers are nice.  Some of them are snappy or up tight but it’s cause they’re miserable and I don’t blame them.  When I’m at that job I’m miserable too. It’s hard to go through eight hours having the same stunted interactions with people.  I ask the same questions to every person.  “Hello, how are you? Do you have a store card? Do you want bags? Would you like to donate a bundle or milk to COVID relief?”  The store I work for is doing a fundraiser for City Harvest which is well-intentioned but it’s so horrible to have to ask people for money during this time.  They’ll say no and then pull out their ebt card and you feel like such a dick for asking them for money to feed other people when they’re struggling too.  I always wish the store it’s self would donate money and leave their customers out of it.

Today was a good day though because I am trying to enjoy my life and make the very best of it all.  At work in my shitty work uniform and same pair of black sneakers, I try to bring myself to the register as well by doing my makeup like I would and never coming to work in my uniform.  I keep my polyester work shirt in my store locker and change into it at the last second so that I can feel like myself for as long as possible.  Today was also a good day because I got out at 12:45 pm and when I walked out of the sliding doors the sun was shining and the birds were screaming their little snow-white heads off.  I went home and fixed myself a drink (my new favorite: sunny d + lime juice + tequila + tajin) and got a facetime from an unknown number hung up on them.  I then immediately realized it was a facetime interview I had scheduled for that time.  I called her back and tried my best to show that I’m a very qualified hardworking nanny that’s good at what she does.

The highlight of my day was making a pinata.  My family and I used to do this many times a year.  We’d make them for my sisters and i’s birthday parties.  I was out of practice but doing it brought back so many warm memories of happier and more than anything brighter easier times.  The smell of the flour and water and feeling of the paste drying on my fingers was therapeutic.  The biggest part of me wishes I had the money and privilege to be fully quarantined and staying home during this time.  I would love to have the time to do all the wild and rather mundane fantasies I’ve had during my life of what I would do if I had time to figure out what I wanted to do.  While sliding the wet pieces of newspaper on to the balloon, I was so focused on getting the job done that I wasn’t thinking about how I was going to make rent, about savings, about food and all the ways I am falling short.  I was just focusing on this task that I had chosen to set in front of me not a bouquet of problems that was thrust into my face.  It was nice to reach out to my childhood in this simple and fun way and to even if just for a half-hour, to think about something different.

Now I have to wait a few days until this first layer of paper mache fully dries and then I’ll add a second layer.  Then I’ll stop being cheap and pull the trigger and buy some paint.  And then the hardest part for me comes.  Trying to be artistic and painting something on it.

Question:  Are you the type of person with enough patience for puzzles?

I for sure, am not.

Also, have you done any arts and crafts during the pandemic?  I would love to hear what you’ve been making 🙂

Pandemic in NYC: #5

I saw on twitter the other day “if your job requires an appreciation week you probably aren’t getting paid enough.”  It’s definitely true.  It was just a nurse appreciation week.  I don’t know if most nurses felt appreciated or felt any difference during that week.  I’m sure they have much more pressing and crucial things to think about than a vague holiday that barely exists.  It’s like the customers that always tell my cashier co-workers and me about the people who make the noise for the frontline workers at 7pm.  They always tell us to thank you for what we do and they ask if we hear the ruckus at that time.  I never have though because I’ve always been… at my register working.  This country is very much about the talk and flimsy gestures in terms of “appreciation” instead of shit that would make us feel appreciated like livable wages.  The people who keep everyone eating and alive and society as close to normal as possible are the ones who are suffering the gravest effects of this pandemic.  The ones who are dying are the ones who had no choice to go to work because their job put profits first and didn’t shut down or the ones who couldn’t miss a days work because they had to make sure they had rent and food for their family.

Speaking of cutesy but flimsy appreciation…

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Pandemic in NYC: #4

This is a picture of me finally with my hair down at the end of a long workday.  I work at a Grocery store in manhattan.  These are our dingey lockers where we keep our pens (they get stolen if we leave them on our registers) and our sad little lunches.  You can see my seltzer hanging from my bag.  I like this picture cause my eyelashes look as dramatic as I feel and because the angry skeleton represents how I feel about this new job that I’m working for minimum wage.  I feel angry and dead. lol cheers!

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April Favorites

This is gonna be the pandemic issue.  This was the month that my staying at home and having free time ended and I’m gonna list all the things that made my short and sweet quarentine enjoyable.

Schitt’s Creek (on Netflix): This show has character.  It’s a good show for people who liked Parks and Rec and Kimmy Schmidt. It’s about a very wealthy family who suddenly loses it all and it’s a comdeny. It gives me the warm and fuzzies and during this extremely stressful time it has been the perfect show for me to watch before bed so that I can try and have sweet dreams instead of stress dreams.  I love how unique each character is and how they all have very distinct mannerisms and personalities.  This show is so charming and fun and funny.  It’s a delight.

This little light:

 

Screenshot 2020-05-03 at 7.55.51 PM

$5.99

Our sink area is right under out cabinets and it’s really dark under there.  This little light completely fixed the problem.  And it’s cute, bright and cheap.  All you have to do to install it is put in the batteries and attach the velcro that comes with it.

Pita chips and tzatziki: a perfect refreshing snack

Jump roping: Fun, easy and burns energy and calories. I hate working out so this is a nice alternative for me cause it’s cardio but not running.

Side note: does anyone with bigger boobs have any sports bra recommendations? I’m tired of wearing two sports bras to jump rope and cutting off the circulation to my body from the boobs up.

Foaming hand wash: It’s just so much more fun than regular hand wash.  I love the bath and body works hand washes and am currently using the aromatherapy one.  Believe it or not the scent of this hand wash gets me compliments from my friends when they’re over (when I was allowed to see my friends pre virus… seems so long ago)

Couch blanket:

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$36.99

I love this blanket because the color is comforting and it’s lightweight and also heavy enough to be a cuddly comfort.  I hope that makes sense (at least a little bit lol).

Blue light glasses:

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$12.99

I may have already written about this but these are hella cheap, hella cute and actually do help with my screen related headaches.

 

March Favorites

March had hundreds of days in it and somehow I still got the March favorites done late.  Here were my most favorite and most random things from March.

Skylight

$59.99

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I love this light, it helps with my anxiety and is so pretty to stare at. It looks better in person. It’s a bit pricey but worth it because it’s so visually pleasing.

Cocoa Butter formula daily skin therapy solid

$6.29

This is my favorite moisturizer.  Cocoa butter is my favorite scent ever and this smells like it in all its glory.  It’s so buttery and luxurious with a beautiful small price tag.  I used this on my face overnight and on my hands overnight in gloves.

Milk fluffer

$10.99

cinnamon-coffee-fluff

This small $10 toy has turned into so much more for me.  I’m a coffee every day at least once a day person and used to make the worst most bitter coffee.  It was so bad that sometimes I would make a face after having a sip, similar to the face once makes after taking a shot.  This fluffer makes drinking coffee more fun and way smoother and better tasting. It’s super easy & quick to use. It makes my morning coffee taste more like a cappuccino. then Walmart coffee. Amen, amen, amen.

Dry mop pads

$22.99 for 180

Ok so I do clean houses for a living so this is probably nearer and dearer to my heart than it is to most people but this is a deal.  I used to buy the Swiffer dry mop pads but they are pretty pricey.  These are basically the same thing but for way cheaper.  Also, another money-saving hack is instead of buying the wet Swiffer mop pads use the dry ones and put the mopping liquid on the floor, then mop it with the dry mop.

My favorite cardigan

$20

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It’s the coziest thing ever and I wear it all the time.  It feels like a strong hug and I love wearing it while I drink my coffee on the porch in the morning.

My glowy no makeup makeup look

Hi! Since I’ve mostly been waking up drinking coffee than getting in my bikini & making cocktails and sunbathing in my backyard with my roommate I haven’t needed the most elaborate makeup routine. I’m of the “i need to put my face on” camp so most days I do do a little something. This look is super glowy fresh faced and youthful. I like it cause it makes me look well rested and perky. This is a little time lapse of me doing my glowy no makeup makeup look:

The final look
The products:
1. Wet and wild photo focus concealer (I used the shade light ivory)
2. Space case highlighter in Seen from Space 1c (for under eyebrows)
3. Maybelline total temptation brow definer in soft brown
4. Space case blush in its not me, it’s my sign
5. Doucce bombastic lash volumizer mascara
6. M.A.C strobe cream in pinklite (the most natural and glowy highlight I’ve ever loved)
7. Benefit gimme brow
8. Laura Geller nude kisses lip hugging lip gloss in a skinny dip

Quarantine Diaries: 1st full day

Hi! I saw one too many Instagram posts/tweets/blog posts about taking this time of social distancing to better yourself and do the things you always want to do but never have time to. So now I’ve made a commitment to myself to write a little annoying something about how I putter around my house every day I’m in self-quarantine.  Read at your own risk of me boring you to sleep.  Which might not be a bad idea cause if you see this you probably have time for a nap.

As someone who has three jobs extended time home has always been a dream and a fantasy for me.  When I’m walking up the hill to my train stop carrying a heavy bag of cleaning supplies before the sun rises I have often fantasized about what it would feel like to go to sleep and not set an alarm for the next day.  I’ve daydreamed about drinking an indulgent, carefully made coffee on my porch of the first home I’ve ever had my name on the lease to and leisurely typing out a blog post.  I never thought I would have this empty time to do all those aspirational things.  All those daydreams seem like hobbies that belong to a different, imaginary version of me.  A me who is more carefree and less haggard.

So looking at this free time and what I should do with it is kind of overwhelming. And also feels like a blessing.  It’s a horrible time for the world and my city and comes with a full list of new and unique anxieties and problems.  And what is the easiest ways to ignore your worries and problems with a worldwide pandemic? Why drinking of course!!  But I waited until lunch to start on that :))

My day:
Morning: I woke up to a text from the client whose house I was supposed to clean this morning saying that she just heard from her building that they are not allowing nonessential people into the building. At that moment this was a lovely text to receive, I’m not a morning person and I got to roll over and go back to bed.  This text would come back to haunt me for the rest of the day with the realization that I am now out of work and that it no longer possible for me to leave the house to go clean apts.

I then work up for real this time to my roommate running into my room because she had seen a mouse as she went to make her coffee.  We were angry to now have a third roommate who was not contributing any rent money and terrorizing our kitchen and terrorizing us before we have had our coffee. The disrespect.  We name her Mama and imagine she’s a single mom and joke that she’s our little friend.  We joke about our 3rd roommate coming back from her home state to find out her roommates have replaced her with a little mouse who we’ve given her room. Quarantine does crazy things to the mind I tell you.

Lunch:

I broke my fast during lunch with a homemade bloody mary.  That was not my smartest life choice because three of the most prominent ingredients in my cocktail were 1) vodka 2) horseradish and 3) tabasco sauce.  I instantly got a stomach ache.

Then I made a beautiful egg sandwich (bread, eggs, sour cream, goat cheese, ketchup).

Then we played Jenga and I learned that if you are clumsy in real life that also applies to quarantined Jenga.  Then my roommate patiently taught me how to play gin rummy. By the time life asks me to play gin rummy again my brain will probably have forgotten but it was fun while it lasted.

Evening:

We watched Tiger King on Netflix which was (as promised by the people I saw tweeting about it on twitter) stranger than fiction. I re-learned that very strange people reside in Florida and never trust anyone who owns large dangerous exotic animals and thinks that they have a bond with them.  Also, this show is a strong case for gun control if I ever saw one.  The show is insanity with so many characters who seem made up for one show that is basically a documentary.  We were hooked.

Then I slinked off to my room to call my loved ones and bum around in my own little bubble.