succeeding in NYC is hard to do

Ok so I always wanna say to the people who watch Sex and the City and are like oh my god, i wanna move to NYC and be a writer/actor and do glamorous stuff and live like Carrie… it’s not like that.  Unless you’re some type of rich person it’s gonna be so much hustle and work and craziness to even get to one dreamy tv moment.  Also NYC is beautiful and sparkly but it’s also really gross.  There is trash on all streets that aren’t SoHo and sometime’s you’ll have to keep checking the bottom of your feet to see if you stepped in shit cause you keep smelling it… 9/10 it’s not you, it’s the streets.  There are rats in the subways and don’t ever sit on a subway seat on a full train without checking, usually there’s some sort of liquid on it.  You’re at some point gonna see a rodent or cockroach in your home.  I’ve never missed rent but I barely make into the next month with much money left over… I can not emphasize enough how expensive rent it.  All the apartments you’ve ever seen on sitcoms of New Yorker’s who have a waitressing job and a roomy living room … oh honey it’s gonna be so many worlds away from that.  My 2nd apt in the city was so small that once I put the twin size mattress on the floor there was only inches left surrounding and I was paying almost $1000 for that monthly.  My boyfriend and I would trip over each others limbs when we both stood up at the same time in the room and we would also trip over the clothes flowing out of the closet cause there was no room to even have a dresser. Even getting a waitressing job is difficult to get in the city cause a lot of places require you to have years of experience working in the city.

If your dream is to move to New York City do it!!  Just don’t expect it to be easy and gorgeous all the time.  You have to work for things to maybe be easy (easier) one day and you have to make and find the gorgeousness your self.  Have savings for a few months or a job lined up and be prepared to work two times harder than you did when you lived in your small town.  The city will hurt your feelings.  You are gonna have to fight for yourself and hustle non stop.  I dealt with a schizophrenic roommate who threatened to kill me, a kitchen with no lights, a 5 floor walk up, a boss who stole the money I worked for, a leaky ceiling, having four jobs at ounce and still struggling to provide the necessities for myself.  I’ve been back in the city for a year and a half and i’m just beginning to be set up and financially ok and have things in my life that are consistent.  This week I had a really promising interview with a hairstylist from a makeover show that I watched religiously with my highschool best friend and went to an awesome makeup launch party with my best friend.  I booked the flights for my first trip for business and went to my soul sucking job yesterday with a light hopeful feeling for better things to come.  But the better things don’t come.. you have to work and will them into existence with months of effort and hard labor.  Those moments seemed surreal and like TV NYC.  But they are so few and far between.

oh hey!

Hi! I’m Tesa Blue and I’m a very clumsy, hardworking person.  I am a former coffee shop cashier turned Irish pub waitress, a Mexican American, a girlfriend, a family member, an assistant wedding planner, a bed head, New Yorker and I’m someone whose just doing the best they can. I believe in true love, fake diamonds, angels, post it notes, procrastinating, fluffy things and cats.  I’m starting this blog because I have a nagging feeling that I’m gonna grow old and get Alzheimer’s and forget my whole life and I want a physical (or virtual) testament to who I was and what I did with my life (youth is fleeting and but the internet is forever). Also my mother said its always nice to look at old photos of yourself and think about how beautiful you used to be when you were young so I also kinda want this to be about how vivacious and bright eyed I am/wish I was.  And I happen to photograph everything and be all over the place all the time (in more ways than one) and have a compulsive need to write.  So why not, I’m gonna give this blog a significant amount of effort and be excited about it.  If someone besides me is reading this let me know, cause that’s amazing!