Quarantine, cashier life & pinatas

Hi! I am the worst at having a blog.

My life has changed drastically just like literally all of ours.  I usually work three jobs, my main job is a full-time nanny and then I have my cleaning business and I work as an assistant wedding planner.  Of course, all three of these jobs stopped existing in the face of this pandemic and for a very terrifying week, I was unemployed.  Then I sat down at my kitchen table with a coffee or cocktail (it was my one week of unemployment to be fair) and applied to every single job that I thought might take a college drop out like me.  I also dmed a few grocery stores because I thought they might be hiring asap and that was how I got the job of a cashier and the most expensive grocery store in the west village.  This is a place that charges $8 for a brick of cafe bustelo and there’s a tomato sauce that costs $12.99 (shout out to Rao’s for apparently being THAT good).  Of course, the pay minimum wage but I don’t have the type of savings that would allow for me to be unemployed for more than a week so I took the job.

My nannying job pays $25 an hour so the price drop has been a lot for me to deal with.  It’s also been hard not knowing when/if my job will return.  My nanny family moved from the west village to their beach house in New Jersey.  At the beginning of the virus, they wanted me to travel there and stay for three days of the week and then go home.  I did this for two weeks and then I had to stop because it felt very dangerous for an asthmatic like me to be traveling on the subway and the train all the time during a very deadly virus.  The day I traveled home from NJ for the last time a stay in place order was issued and I couldn’t have been happier to be in home sweet Brooklyn and not NJ.

The grocery store job is as soul-sucking as you’d imagine.  No one grows up saying they want to be a cashier and even if they did they’d take one look at the paycheck and change their mind.  Most of my co-workers are nice.  Some of them are snappy or up tight but it’s cause they’re miserable and I don’t blame them.  When I’m at that job I’m miserable too. It’s hard to go through eight hours having the same stunted interactions with people.  I ask the same questions to every person.  “Hello, how are you? Do you have a store card? Do you want bags? Would you like to donate a bundle or milk to COVID relief?”  The store I work for is doing a fundraiser for City Harvest which is well-intentioned but it’s so horrible to have to ask people for money during this time.  They’ll say no and then pull out their ebt card and you feel like such a dick for asking them for money to feed other people when they’re struggling too.  I always wish the store it’s self would donate money and leave their customers out of it.

Today was a good day though because I am trying to enjoy my life and make the very best of it all.  At work in my shitty work uniform and same pair of black sneakers, I try to bring myself to the register as well by doing my makeup like I would and never coming to work in my uniform.  I keep my polyester work shirt in my store locker and change into it at the last second so that I can feel like myself for as long as possible.  Today was also a good day because I got out at 12:45 pm and when I walked out of the sliding doors the sun was shining and the birds were screaming their little snow-white heads off.  I went home and fixed myself a drink (my new favorite: sunny d + lime juice + tequila + tajin) and got a facetime from an unknown number hung up on them.  I then immediately realized it was a facetime interview I had scheduled for that time.  I called her back and tried my best to show that I’m a very qualified hardworking nanny that’s good at what she does.

The highlight of my day was making a pinata.  My family and I used to do this many times a year.  We’d make them for my sisters and i’s birthday parties.  I was out of practice but doing it brought back so many warm memories of happier and more than anything brighter easier times.  The smell of the flour and water and feeling of the paste drying on my fingers was therapeutic.  The biggest part of me wishes I had the money and privilege to be fully quarantined and staying home during this time.  I would love to have the time to do all the wild and rather mundane fantasies I’ve had during my life of what I would do if I had time to figure out what I wanted to do.  While sliding the wet pieces of newspaper on to the balloon, I was so focused on getting the job done that I wasn’t thinking about how I was going to make rent, about savings, about food and all the ways I am falling short.  I was just focusing on this task that I had chosen to set in front of me not a bouquet of problems that was thrust into my face.  It was nice to reach out to my childhood in this simple and fun way and to even if just for a half-hour, to think about something different.

Now I have to wait a few days until this first layer of paper mache fully dries and then I’ll add a second layer.  Then I’ll stop being cheap and pull the trigger and buy some paint.  And then the hardest part for me comes.  Trying to be artistic and painting something on it.

Question:  Are you the type of person with enough patience for puzzles?

I for sure, am not.

Also, have you done any arts and crafts during the pandemic?  I would love to hear what you’ve been making 🙂

Pandemic in NYC: #3

This is a very basic photo of the subway and a poster advertising the democratic primary.  This was a little sad for me to see as New York’s Democratic primary was canceled due to the virus.  I was planning on voting for Bernie Sander’s in the NYC primary and he was going to still be on the ballot even though he had suspended his campaign.  I was going to still give him my vote (probably for the last time).

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Pandemic in NYC: 1st photo

Since I’m one of the people who has to leave her house every day during this virus, I thought I’d try and document it.  I feel very rare walking the streets of NYC during this time and a lot of times I’m the only one.  When I get out of work at 10:15 pm after working the closing shift at the grocery store it barely matters if I walk on the street or the side walks.  There’s no body out.  I’m gonna do a little photo essay where I post one photo a day that encapsulates my experience being out and about during the pandemic.

This is a pic from the closest bodega to my subway station.  I needed to buy some milk for my coffee and as a perk got to meet this cat.

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Grocery Store Tessa is back to the minimum wage hustle

Hi Internet Void!

I have had so many jobs in my 22 years that I feel like a barbie with different professions but without the cute outfits.  There’s nanny Tessa! pharmacy Tessa! and now grocery store Tessa!  I’m on the 2nd week of my job at a west village grocery store.  This means a lot of things but most importantly that I haven’t been paid yet.  It’s pretty easy because I’m a cashier and I’ve done this before.  The only big difference is that all the fruits and vegetables have a four number code that I have to memorize and that some of them have to be weighed and some of them are priced individually and I have to memorize what is what.

I also am getting used to wearing gloves and a mask for 8 hrs a day.  I have definitely found that my breath doesn’t smell which is a win.  And I’ve gotten a little smart with it in that I’m putting hand cream on before I clock in so that my hands can get softer and softer in the gloves as I work.  Also since the only part of my face that people can see is my eyes I’ve been having fun with my eye makeup.  I’ve been trying to wear fake eyelashes every day and colorful eyeshadow.  And under the mask, I’m wearing no makeup and sometimes pimple cream.  People compliment my make up and say it’s nice to see someone putting in effort during such hard times.  I want to tell them, all I am doing is putting in effort.  Me being here is putting in the effort, life to me seems like one big effort after another.

I’ve been feeling pretty depressed and down because so many people are dying and everyone is so stressed.  You can tell that everyone is feeling it.  Once again this city is full of death and you can see little shades of depression and sadness in everyone.  I know I’m feeling exhausted.  The act even of walking to the subway and getting on the bleak slow empty subway is a downer and takes so much longer than it usually would.  The trains are running every 30 mins so I leave the house two hours before work. Customers at work are snapping at each other for cutting in line or standing too close.  Customers are still walking into the grocery store without a mask even though that is now illegal.  We are telling customers to wear a mask and that same customer will show up non chalently the next day barefaced.  There are the overly cautious and the selfish and those who don’t think but it’s clearer than it’s ever been before.  Customers complain about being bored while I ring up their groceries and my knees ache from standing all day.  I’ve forgotten the cruelty of minimum wage jobs.  How you’re required to do so many things while getting paid the least they’re legally allowed to.  How the daily hours of 7am to 10pm haven’t been cut short even though people are suggested by the government to be home by 8am.  The cruelty of having to stand all day, of having just a 15 min break somedays and having to clock out and not get paid for it.  The having to wear the uniform every day and being given only one uniform shirt when almost guaranteed everyone who works there doesn’t have a washer or dryer.  The fact that there is no hazard pay, that there are still so many people who have to work even though to leave the house is to risk your life.

My glowy no makeup makeup look

Hi! Since I’ve mostly been waking up drinking coffee than getting in my bikini & making cocktails and sunbathing in my backyard with my roommate I haven’t needed the most elaborate makeup routine. I’m of the “i need to put my face on” camp so most days I do do a little something. This look is super glowy fresh faced and youthful. I like it cause it makes me look well rested and perky. This is a little time lapse of me doing my glowy no makeup makeup look:

The final look
The products:
1. Wet and wild photo focus concealer (I used the shade light ivory)
2. Space case highlighter in Seen from Space 1c (for under eyebrows)
3. Maybelline total temptation brow definer in soft brown
4. Space case blush in its not me, it’s my sign
5. Doucce bombastic lash volumizer mascara
6. M.A.C strobe cream in pinklite (the most natural and glowy highlight I’ve ever loved)
7. Benefit gimme brow
8. Laura Geller nude kisses lip hugging lip gloss in a skinny dip

Wrong bitch to hit with your cane :/

Y’all just finished cursing someone out. I stopped for one seconds for my asthmatic lungs to be ok and not think they’re dying after I walked out of the stairs of the subway. In this few second period of me huffing and puffing some crusty pervy looking 50 yr old man w a cane approached me and I couldn’t so I POLITELY said I’m sorry I have to catch my train and started to walk away and this man hit my ankle with his cane….. sheesh. I blacked on this man. I was just getting my breath back from the stairs (I’m the most ancient 22 yr old you ever did see) and used all that breath to unload on him. “You can not be hitting people with you mother fucking cane” and lots more heavily cursed words but I never remember what I said when I really curse someone out. For the first split second after he hit me he seemed to come forward and kept smiling a deranged smile and me but then I got louder and really committed to it and leaned all the way in in a way only anger management girls like me can and he didn’t get a word it and stopped moving.

I was having a really weird really hard really stressful day. I don’t know if my dads cancer is back or if he has diabetes and my employees keep trying to talk politics with me (which I think is really inappropriate) and I works 15 hours or something ridiculous (I’m too tired to do the math).

Belated February Favorites

Hi! I hope you had a lovely February she writes from a week plus into March.  My favorites of the month are late once again and I’m hoping to not make this a tradition this year.

Here were my favorite things this month:

The Metropolitan Museum of Art: This is my new favorite museum in the world.  It’s so glamorous and one of the great privileges of being a New Yorker is that you can pay whatever you want. My best friend and I went yesterday and paid one dollar each.  There’s so much marble and home decor (for when you’re extremely wealthy of course).  The architecture is unreal and there are lots of parts of the museum that are full of sunlight, statues, and columns.  It feels very dreamy and surreal.  Of course, it is now one of the many museums currently closed due to the virus.  Here’s some pics of me being annoying in front of beautiful art.

Cigarette pants: I’m not a big pant person because they’re super uncomfortable for me but cigarette pants are so chic and make me feel like a seductive femme fatale in an old movie.  I feel like cigarette pants are the most feminine pants and I have a very feminine style.

These are one of the rare things in this world that is worth more than it costs.  It’s so cheap smells so good and makes my skin feel out of this world soft when I’m done scrubbing myself down with it in the shower.  I love how many scents there are (my favorite is the mango).  I try to exfoliate once a week and I used to use coffee grinds and brown sugar but I realized I don’t want to smell like coffee all the time since I’m already always clutching my coffee like it’s the cure.

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Nightly refresh mouthwash: It makes my teeth feel so smooth and literally squeaky clean.

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Stress ease tea:  I like the cinnamon flavor best cause I find it to be the most comforting. It’s very soothing and I don’t know if it’s a placebo or not but my best friend and I were very sick and drank a very hot cup of this and felt a lot better the next day.

Dislikes:

Essie Gel Nail Polish: literally chipped the first day and then I tried again because I had read some good reviews of it online and it chipped right away once again.  It seems to be regular nail polish to me and not at all gel.

The fact that people have legitimately hoarded toilet paper???! And that most stores are out of it?? There are problems that us civilians have to deal with and some that we create, I don’t know why we had to create this problem smh.  I hate to see greed all around me in such an apparent and unnecessary way.

& three is a party

On my first week off in a whole real while, my best friend came to stay at my house.  My nanny family was vacationing in the Dominican Republic and I was ready to have a staycation.  I went upstate to visit my family for a day and then Olive came back with me which felt so good cause it was like bringing a piece of my hometown back to my home.

We slept in, we drank excessive amounts of coffee, we watched Yummy Mummys (terrible but entertaining tv) and the Umbrella Academy (good tv) and also I used my prized possession, my blender and made margaritas and we got drunk in my living room.  Being young and extra as we are we got dressed up and put on heels and we danced our very uncoordinated hearts out in my living room to salsa that blared from the google home.  It was delicious innocent fun.  For a moment there we even flirted with the idea of leaving the house but that is not really our style (mi novio, Olive and I have hermit tendencies and we had everything we needed in the house anyway).

It was so much fun and I even danced even though I can not dance and know so very well.  I was the perfect level of drunk and I felt good the next morning.  When I get drunk I get hyper and then I get sleepy so after we stopped dancing we started watching Yummy Mummies again and I left to change out of my itchy Fashion Nova evening gown into PJ’s and just accidentally stripped down to my underwear and fell asleep in my bed leaving Olivia and mi novio to Yummy Mummies lol.  Anyways here are three photos from that night that I love and adore.  And I hope you have a three-person party soon.  It’s fun, it’s cheap, it’s safe, it’s easy and you can play whatever damn music you’d like.  10/10 would recommend