Rich People Things

hi, I’m poor so I’m making a list of rich people things probably cause I’m jealous and also probably cause I’m bored.

  1. towel warmers
  2. hotel rooms with more than just a bedroom
  3. doormen and those apts with big signs saying all guests must be announced and always ask for ID
  4. unboxing videos and hauls
  5. going to Bali and Singapore
  6. not taking the subway (“we don’t go above 14th st.” is a real quote)
  7. talking about botox at brunch
  8. talking incessently about “Delhi belly” and other “water poisoning” they got on their exotic vacation across the globe
  9. “Flat or sparkling?”
  10. Coat check

Some weeks I can tell if someone’s trash or treasure between 1 mins of meeting them and some times I’m like this person is cool! And they turn out to be someone who yells at the deli guy cause he suspects he’s making the sandwich incorrectly or someone who asks you for a dollar cause theres is too crumpled to go in the metro card machine and then when you’re ruffling through you’re pockets for a $1 they snatch your $5 and won’t give it back.