Pandemic in NYC: #4

This is a picture of me finally with my hair down at the end of a long workday.  I work at a Grocery store in manhattan.  These are our dingey lockers where we keep our pens (they get stolen if we leave them on our registers) and our sad little lunches.  You can see my seltzer hanging from my bag.  I like this picture cause my eyelashes look as dramatic as I feel and because the angry skeleton represents how I feel about this new job that I’m working for minimum wage.  I feel angry and dead. lol cheers!

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Glowy Interview Makeup (I got the job)

Hi Internet Void!

It’s been a hard time for basically everyone everywhere.  I’ve (hopefully) temporarily lost all three of my jobs because of the coronavirus.  Once the panic and stress set in I applied to tons of jobs on Indeed and the only one that got back to me was a grocery store company.  I have worked as a cashier before.  One of the best jobs I’ve ever had was being a cashier at CVS in high school.  The only terrifying thing is going from making the $25 an hour I made as a nanny to $15 an hour.  Minimum wage is extremely hard to get by on especially in NYC.  It went really well and I was so nervous and bumbling during the first few moments of the interview but I snapped back.  She offered me the job on the spot and I’m gonna have orientation tomorrow.

Anywayys this is a makeup post and this is how I did my face for the interview.  I wanted to do a natural glowy and healthy look that really let my natural beauty shine.  That meant sadly no fake eyelashes and no glitter lids and because of that I didn’t think it would be fun but it actually was and I LOVE this look.  The foundation I used was very dewy and made it so I didn’t have to use any highlighter on my cheeks.

Makeup used:

  1. Maybelline dream urban cover foundation in 120 classic ivory
  2. Ciate watermelon burst hydrating primer
  3. Rimmel insta duo contour stick in light
  4. Wet and wild photo focus concealer in light ivory
  5. Doucce bombastic lash volumizer mascara
  6. Real techniques sponge
  7. Space case seen from space 1C highlighter (just under the eyebrow)
  8. NYX lip liner in brunch me
  9. NYC suede lipstick in brunch me
  10. Huda beauty warm brown obsessions (I only used the light brown color that’s in the bottom row in the middle
  11. Black liquid eyeliner

My glowy no makeup makeup look

Hi! Since I’ve mostly been waking up drinking coffee than getting in my bikini & making cocktails and sunbathing in my backyard with my roommate I haven’t needed the most elaborate makeup routine. I’m of the “i need to put my face on” camp so most days I do do a little something. This look is super glowy fresh faced and youthful. I like it cause it makes me look well rested and perky. This is a little time lapse of me doing my glowy no makeup makeup look:

The final look
The products:
1. Wet and wild photo focus concealer (I used the shade light ivory)
2. Space case highlighter in Seen from Space 1c (for under eyebrows)
3. Maybelline total temptation brow definer in soft brown
4. Space case blush in its not me, it’s my sign
5. Doucce bombastic lash volumizer mascara
6. M.A.C strobe cream in pinklite (the most natural and glowy highlight I’ve ever loved)
7. Benefit gimme brow
8. Laura Geller nude kisses lip hugging lip gloss in a skinny dip

Mask On

This is my angsty mask face. It’s been a long week. I got my teeth whitened (via Groupon, dumb I know) and they burned my younger and mouth so badly. The only plus side is that I got a face mask from the lady who whitened my teeth/assaulted my mouth. I have been trying to find some for a while but amazon is sold out and hardware stores are closed cause of Covid. I’ve been using for quite a few days now and disinfecting it but now that too seems gross. The next step is making my own out of paper towels. My best friend showed me a video of her uncle making a face mask out of nothing but string, a hole punch and stapler. So if I can find string and a stapler that will be my solution.
On the brighter side I’ve been a live in nanny in NJ for the past three days and tomorrow I get to go home!!! I can’t wait to be quarantined in my own space. Stay safe y’all!

a day full of infuriation, exhaustion and also at least one good moment

Today has been a day.  My bra started cutting into me by the end and my leggings elastic was busted and I had to keep pulling them up all day.  Those things already had me wanting to scream.

I went to the eye doctor to hopefully have them fix the health issue that has been really bothering me for two years and I walked out of the Drs apt really optimistic that the end was in sight.  I have been literally crying (this is way beyond watery eyes) on and off for about 2 years now.  Lately, it is non stop which can so get in the way of life.  It’s gotten so bad my vision is usually really blurry from the water in my eyes and there’s no point in wearing makeup cause it streaks and drips off within an hour of application.  The Dr. was very professional, smart and treated me with respect (I’ve run into a lot of Dr’s who didn’t treat me with respect, unfortunately). She was also very young which made me jealous and had me feeling all types of ways.  I’m a college dropout (for financial reasons) so seeing people thriving and using those degrees makes me feel a little sad for myself (I really am such a petty selfish person lmao).  She asked if she could dilate my eyes and I said yes after being assured that 1) wouldn’t look crazy (“I work with kids”) and 2) that the blurriness would be over before.  As soon as it kicked in I couldn’t read words on my phone and everything close to me was to blurry to fully make out for 2hrs.  I looked crazy and my pupils were so huge (photo below) for half the day and the blurriness did linger longer than I would have liked.  I was worried that my boss would see and think that I was on some type of drug so I was lucky that I spent the first half of the day with just the kids.  They also took photos of the inside of my eyelids (she literally flipped my eyelids inside out and just thinking of the feeling makes me cringe).  She then asked me if I wanted to see said photos to which I politely declined.  They took some photos of the back of my eyelids with some bright lights and super expensive medical machines. She prescribed me two eye drops to take daily and I was on my way (to work).

I was happy thinking that the issue that had been making me want to scream for 2 years was now on its way to being fixed.  I had finally, finally stopped procrastinating it.  And I made plans to pick it up from my CVS after work.  Something off my to do list! Yay!

TURNS OUT, even though it was supposed to be covered by my insurance… it’s not.  And one of the eyedrops is $70 and the other is $40 ahahahaha.  I can not afford that right now.  I have too much credit card debt/toilet paper to buy/metro cards are expensive/we still have to eat.  So now tomorrow I have to call the doctors office ask if they have my correct insurance information and if so and they’re really not gonna cover it, ask if there are cheaper alternatives and look my to do list is growing.

Fast forward to the end of my day after the kids (quick recap: I’m a nanny to 4 kids) have been fed and showered and are all watching their pads before bed.  Cecelia was already in bed cause her bedtime is 15 mins before Charlie’s so hopefully she will be asleep before him and they won’t keep each other up. I walk around to check on the Charlie and Charlie had fallen asleep while watching his iPad.  He looked so peaceful and sweet so I immediately gave my self a pep talk about how I can get him into bed without waking him up (“you can do this, Tessa. Not only can you but you will cause you have to.”)  I picked him up and oh so gently and quietly carried him to bed.  He didn’t wake up and Cecelia was still awake so once I had gotten Charlie under the covers I turned to her and in my most serious and intense whisper I told her “Charlie is sleeping, don’t say a word.” Amazingly it worked and not a peep was heard from their room.  This was the best moment of my day.  My heart felt full and overflowing with love and I felt so deeply and truly blessed that this is my job (!!).  I really love these kids so much and I’ve only known them for a couple months.  It makes me so excited for when I have kids of my own and hope that I’ll be a good mother.  I know I won’t have a shortage of love for them.  I know that I’ll try my best to listen to them and to make sure they have everything they need.

Look how creepy I looked 😦

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This is my no I’m not an asshole wearing sunglasses inside my dr told me I have to cause my dilated pupils are really sensitive to light right now look.IMG_2073

Puppy Heartbreak

On Tuesdays Nick and I usually go to the movies and we’ve discovered that there’s a puppy shop on the way there. The first time we went Nick picked out which puppy we were gonna play with and it was a Brussels griff and it was an insane fluff of a thing. He was adorable but a ball of 100% unrefined pure energy and was trying to attach us and the buttons on Nick’s shirt and my shoe laces and everything in sight at the same time. We loved him but he was the craziest creature we’ve met lol.

This time I picked out the puppy, a tiny Pomeranian. I’ve wanted a Pomeranian since middle school when I started begging my parents (for years, and years literally until I moved out). I did not get a Pomeranian but one year at Christmas I got a battery operated barking chihuahua stuffed animals…🙃. Anyway since I’m not a rich person and my apt does not allow dogs and I have a full time job and I live in nyc I can not get a dog. My dream is to get two Pomeranians and name them Mimosa and Bellini (Mimi and Bella for short) and once that dream comes true I’ll know that I’ve made it.

Until then we’ll continue to go to the puppy store on our way to the movies on Tuesday’s. Even though this last time really hurt. We really fell in love with the Pomeranian we played with. She was so sweet and fun and cuddly and we both just loved her so much and considered grabbing her and making a real run for it.

One day we will have our pups and our life together … one day.

favorite restaurant

This time around the waiter was not feeling me and my (very loud) family and had no patience with me describing what I usually get since I couldn’t find it on the menu.  Frida, her best friend Hannah, and I all got mango lassi’s which my own sister turns out to like (!) and Hannah is a vegan lol.  So I was very happy because I got three mango lassi’s.  There’s no AC in there and between the combo of tons of Christmas lights and hot thick Indian food we were sweaty and miserable.  It’s definitely a better experience at night time.

i voted

I’m really glad I did too cause all my candidates lost … clearly they needed and I would have been really mad at myself if I didn’t come out. I forgot to re register my new address when i moved to Brooklyn so I had to go all the way to harem to vote which was actually very nostalgic for me cause the the last time I was in the neighborhood Obama was our president