worth your $20: Bikini Edition

Listen, I’m a lazy fuck who forgets that birthdays are happening until they’re basically here and who doesn’t like to go shopping in actual stores cause it causes me duress and lots of stress so I get my bikinis from Amazon and hope for the best. I ordered two for my vacation to Martinique.  I love this one because it’s very vacationy and I love this shade of orange.  This top is very supportive and I love that the straps are adjustable. And high waisted bikinis are a lifestyle to me. This one is $16.99 and available for prime. The link is here.

Screenshot 2019-03-16 at 8.22.31 AMwhat it looks like on the internet

what it looks like on me (an unphotoshopped girl)


The orange one was my favorite bikini I ordered.

This other one is very lovely as well, my only complaint is that after wearing it in the pool and the ocean for a few days the elastic in the top got a bit worn and it was looser on the top.  It was still really cute and made me feel like Brigitte Bardot in her white bikini.


This bikini is my version of that with a little more coverage for my areas that need it lol.  The fabric is nice and thick. Here is the photo on the website. And this is the link.  It is $17.99 and available for prime.

Screenshot 2019-03-16 at 8.31.12 AM.png

This is me in the bikini in real life on the beach 🙂

I hope that you have a vacation coming up soon and I hope you find a bikini that makes you feel gorgeous!

What’s the best makeup you ever bought?

For me it’s crazy high school me who spend like $70 of her CVS paycheck to buy this Pat McGrath highlighter kit with the nicest sparkliest goldest most radiant highlighter I’ve ever encountered.  I still use it all the time and it was amazingly miraculously worth it.  Let me know what your favorite of all time’s are!

stupidest thing I did today: #1

Today as soon as my eyes disgruntlely opened I made myself a promise: I will finish my Christmas shopping today.  And so I did.  My last stop was the Ulta on the Upper East Side to get my little sister two highlighters she wanted.  I got there, wished I was rich and could treat myself and got her the gifts and got on the subway.  I sat down and waited for the 5 and then I glanced at the countdown clock and realized 1) I was on the wrong level 2) the train would arrive in 1 minute.  So I ran frantically down the stairs and caught the train. Yay! …Except I had left the $70 Ulta bag on the upper level.  This was of course something I didn’t realize until I was almost in Brooklyn.  I got off the train and returned to the station I had left it at, hoping for a Christmas miracle. But there was obviously no way someone would not touch it and it was gone.  I then went back to Ulta and re bought the $70 gift.  And then I returned home to be poor, pouty and eat my 50 cent ramen noodles.  And yes I am still furious at my careless self and I am not on speaking terms with myself.