Pandemic in NYC: #2

Yesterday my roommate and I suited up in masks and took a trip to Coney Island.  We made sure to be careful and social distance the whole way.  We took a car there and back and were more than 20 feet away from anyone else as we basked in the sun, feet drifting around in the sand.  It was so replenishing for my soul.  I felt overflowing and happy when I was there. Each minute I lay in the sand with the blue sky opened up above me I feel the weariness leak out of me.  We got stuck in traffic a bit on our way home but it was ok because I was sun tired, grateful and I got to see this dog next to us in traffic.

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twilight clouds

Some days are really hard. This day when I took this picture was. I was almost a week ago and I still feel so so tired from it. I really just want one day off to do nothing but watch tv and tinker with skin care. I’m so tired I feel sick. And I’m used to being tired, I only feel exhausted sick when everything area of my life is so exhausting. During this weekend I felt the best and the worst of emotions and I’ve been ravaged by emotion. Like I’ve been chained to the bottom of the ocean during a rain storm waves crashing around from all sides, on top and on bottom. I feel like that led zeppelin song when he says you shook me but not talking about sex or anything just life. It’s scary when there’s no haven even if it’s just for a moment everything felt broken and our of order and I felt really upside down and floaty. I can’t wait until I don’t have to always be working or always feeling guilty I’m not working. I feel pretty unsettled and unsure. Also these are my favorite types of clouds, the purple blue grey ones that can be any mood, that understand you and let you be low key and calm and let you silently hope for the best.