ups and downs

I started this year with a negative $20 in my bank account and cried on the subway on my way to work.  This morning I had the worst panic attack of my life

But now I’m surrounded by my best friends in my sweet home waiting for my boyfriend to come home from work and feeling hopeful again.

I am so vulnerable and life is so hard and so much.  But it is always always worth it.

Your work place is not your family.

This is my jam.  I had a job where people called each other family and it turned out to be the most toxic place.  So much drama, and people thinking they had people who were “loyal” to each other and of course no one was.  I used to talk to 10+ people from there and think they were my friends and I literally only talk to one regularly now that I’m not there every day. My bossed used that phrase “we’re a family here” etc. as a sort of unwritten contract for us to work crazy hard for her all the time for less than we deserve.  Here is the New York Times article about it.