Hi! Since I’ve mostly been waking up drinking coffee than getting in my bikini & making cocktails and sunbathing in my backyard with my roommate I haven’t needed the most elaborate makeup routine. I’m of the “i need to put my face on” camp so most days I do do a little something. This look is super glowy fresh faced and youthful. I like it cause it makes me look well rested and perky. This is a little time lapse of me doing my glowy no makeup makeup look:
Hi! I saw one too many Instagram posts/tweets/blog posts about taking this time of social distancing to better yourself and do the things you always want to do but never have time to. So now I’ve made a commitment to myself to write a little annoying something about how I putter around my house every day I’m in self-quarantine. Read at your own risk of me boring you to sleep. Which might not be a bad idea cause if you see this you probably have time for a nap.
As someone who has three jobs extended time home has always been a dream and a fantasy for me. When I’m walking up the hill to my train stop carrying a heavy bag of cleaning supplies before the sun rises I have often fantasized about what it would feel like to go to sleep and not set an alarm for the next day. I’ve daydreamed about drinking an indulgent, carefully made coffee on my porch of the first home I’ve ever had my name on the lease to and leisurely typing out a blog post. I never thought I would have this empty time to do all those aspirational things. All those daydreams seem like hobbies that belong to a different, imaginary version of me. A me who is more carefree and less haggard.
So looking at this free time and what I should do with it is kind of overwhelming. And also feels like a blessing. It’s a horrible time for the world and my city and comes with a full list of new and unique anxieties and problems. And what is the easiest ways to ignore your worries and problems with a worldwide pandemic? Why drinking of course!! But I waited until lunch to start on that :))
Morning: I woke up to a text from the client whose house I was supposed to clean this morning saying that she just heard from her building that they are not allowing nonessential people into the building. At that moment this was a lovely text to receive, I’m not a morning person and I got to roll over and go back to bed. This text would come back to haunt me for the rest of the day with the realization that I am now out of work and that it no longer possible for me to leave the house to go clean apts.
I then work up for real this time to my roommate running into my room because she had seen a mouse as she went to make her coffee. We were angry to now have a third roommate who was not contributing any rent money and terrorizing our kitchen and terrorizing us before we have had our coffee. The disrespect. We name her Mama and imagine she’s a single mom and joke that she’s our little friend. We joke about our 3rd roommate coming back from her home state to find out her roommates have replaced her with a little mouse who we’ve given her room. Quarantine does crazy things to the mind I tell you.
I broke my fast during lunch with a homemade bloody mary. That was not my smartest life choice because three of the most prominent ingredients in my cocktail were 1) vodka 2) horseradish and 3) tabasco sauce. I instantly got a stomach ache.
Then I made a beautiful egg sandwich (bread, eggs, sour cream, goat cheese, ketchup).
Then we played Jenga and I learned that if you are clumsy in real life that also applies to quarantined Jenga. Then my roommate patiently taught me how to play gin rummy. By the time life asks me to play gin rummy again my brain will probably have forgotten but it was fun while it lasted.
We watched Tiger King on Netflix which was (as promised by the people I saw tweeting about it on twitter) stranger than fiction. I re-learned that very strange people reside in Florida and never trust anyone who owns large dangerous exotic animals and thinks that they have a bond with them. Also, this show is a strong case for gun control if I ever saw one. The show is insanity with so many characters who seem made up for one show that is basically a documentary. We were hooked.
Then I slinked off to my room to call my loved ones and bum around in my own little bubble.
Y’all just finished cursing someone out. I stopped for one seconds for my asthmatic lungs to be ok and not think they’re dying after I walked out of the stairs of the subway. In this few second period of me huffing and puffing some crusty pervy looking 50 yr old man w a cane approached me and I couldn’t so I POLITELY said I’m sorry I have to catch my train and started to walk away and this man hit my ankle with his cane….. sheesh. I blacked on this man. I was just getting my breath back from the stairs (I’m the most ancient 22 yr old you ever did see) and used all that breath to unload on him. “You can not be hitting people with you mother fucking cane” and lots more heavily cursed words but I never remember what I said when I really curse someone out. For the first split second after he hit me he seemed to come forward and kept smiling a deranged smile and me but then I got louder and really committed to it and leaned all the way in in a way only anger management girls like me can and he didn’t get a word it and stopped moving.
I was having a really weird really hard really stressful day. I don’t know if my dads cancer is back or if he has diabetes and my employees keep trying to talk politics with me (which I think is really inappropriate) and I works 15 hours or something ridiculous (I’m too tired to do the math).
This sadly (unhealthy af) and happily (delicious af) is my most commonly eaten meal. What’s your most commonly eaten meal and what does it say about you? Mine says that I’m cheap and lazy as fuck and also that I believe more is more when it comes to pizza.
Hi! I hope you had a lovely February she writes from a week plus into March. My favorites of the month are late once again and I’m hoping to not make this a tradition this year.
Here were my favorite things this month:
The Metropolitan Museum of Art: This is my new favorite museum in the world. It’s so glamorous and one of the great privileges of being a New Yorker is that you can pay whatever you want. My best friend and I went yesterday and paid one dollar each. There’s so much marble and home decor (for when you’re extremely wealthy of course). The architecture is unreal and there are lots of parts of the museum that are full of sunlight, statues, and columns. It feels very dreamy and surreal. Of course, it is now one of the many museums currently closed due to the virus. Here’s some pics of me being annoying in front of beautiful art.
Cigarette pants: I’m not a big pant person because they’re super uncomfortable for me but cigarette pants are so chic and make me feel like a seductive femme fatale in an old movie. I feel like cigarette pants are the most feminine pants and I have a very feminine style.
These are one of the rare things in this world that is worth more than it costs. It’s so cheap smells so good and makes my skin feel out of this world soft when I’m done scrubbing myself down with it in the shower. I love how many scents there are (my favorite is the mango). I try to exfoliate once a week and I used to use coffee grinds and brown sugar but I realized I don’t want to smell like coffee all the time since I’m already always clutching my coffee like it’s the cure.
Nightly refresh mouthwash: It makes my teeth feel so smooth and literally squeaky clean.
Stress ease tea: I like the cinnamon flavor best cause I find it to be the most comforting. It’s very soothing and I don’t know if it’s a placebo or not but my best friend and I were very sick and drank a very hot cup of this and felt a lot better the next day.
Essie Gel Nail Polish: literally chipped the first day and then I tried again because I had read some good reviews of it online and it chipped right away once again. It seems to be regular nail polish to me and not at all gel.
The fact that people have legitimately hoarded toilet paper???! And that most stores are out of it?? There are problems that us civilians have to deal with and some that we create, I don’t know why we had to create this problem smh. I hate to see greed all around me in such an apparent and unnecessary way.
When I was little I imagined that $75 of groceries would look like so much more than this. In these bags are the recipes to three meals to feed me this week: marinara spinach orzo, sesame ginger tofu with broccoli and egg quesadillas and some milk and cafe bustelo. That’s it.
Just once when I busted ass and fell on these concrete nyc streets just once I wish there would be a hot rom com lead to help me up and whisk me away. Just once