and after laziness comes errands

Hello internet void,

My best friend came to visit on Monday and since she wakes up every day at approximately 2pm I made the unconscious decision to live that lifestyle while she was here… and I’m not mad at it.  I had this week off because my nanny family went on vacation to the Dominican Republic.  Our routine this week was to wake up a 2 ish and then make coffee and I’d eat my typical egg breakfast and I’d make Olivia egg breakfast which she’d peck at and then we’d make coffee again and then we’d talk and we left the house at least one day but we just sat and talked about our anxiety and stress about the future and indecisiveness and abusive ex-boyfriends and the fact that we pile our clothes all over our room and don’t know if we’ll ever stop.  We also watched the whole show the Umbrella Academy 1) because it’s very good and entertaining and 2) because Olivia is in love with Robert Sheehan.  One of the perks of having Olivia as a house guest is she cooks and very well.  One of my reoccurring high school memories is her making me delicious foods with goat cheese in it.  She made us pork chops with a delicious tangy tomato sauce and fried rice.  It was amazing and so full of flavor.  It’s especially impressive because she never uses a recipe, she just sees what ingredients she has to work with and turns it into something delectable and makes it look easy.  Anyways… it was so good to catch up with my bestfriend and have her here and I got more than 6 hours of sleep and a real home made meal for the first time in weeks.  But I was falling behind on my work and today when I woke up I realized I had to play catch up and hard.

I have been going through the task rabbit application process for a little more than a month (more than a month because I kept procrastination watching the how to videos) but as of yesterday I had been verified and my account was up and running.  I had finally gotten approved and promptly forgot about it until I got a job for today.  Which is so awesome.  I’ve been on a few apps with my tiny business Cleaning con Flores but some I had literally never gotten business from and one (Romio) I’d gotten business from but very few and very far between as it is a newer less established app.  I’m pretty happy with task rabbit because so far I have been asked to do three tasks and completed one job today and I have on schedule for tomorrow (the other one was canceled by the client).  I’m really impressed and excited about it so far.

My next errand was to pick up my to do list book from the public library in the West Village.  The West Village is where I work for nannying so I am always at that library with the 3 year old.  I always bring my to do list pad because it has rippable paper and drawing in that book under the right circumstances can be a big hit with my charge.  Unfortunately for me I also write poetry in the book which gave me lots of stress when I left it there cause I really don’t want the librarians who see me 4 times a week with my three year old to read my bad poetry.  Somehow I took deep breaths told my self that they didn’t look in my book and just hope that they didn’t read my lame poetry.  So weird. I called ahead to make sure they had it and then I waited a week to pick it up cause I was busy being lazy and binging Netflix with Olivia for the majority of the week. Priorities.

My third get back in the working girl game thing I had to do was go to this bar that we’re interested in having a wedding after party in and talk to the manager.  We had no meeting set up or anything, it was just time to show up in person cause they hadn’t responded to any of my calls or emails.  My boss is the best most thoughtful boss in the world so when I told her that I was headed to the taco bar she venmoed me $30 for a margarita cause apparently it’s national margarita day.  What I did to deserve her …. I will never know.

The last and of course what ended up being the most problematic thing was something that sounds so simple; picking up a prepaid computer.  My computer broke a few weeks ago and since one of my jobs is a work from the computer job I had to buy a new one the same day the old one broke.  My parents very very kindly bought me a new one   I literally bought the same one again, just the newer model and they send off the old one saying that the geek squad will try to fix it and it would be covered in the warranty if it could be fixed.  I said great, if it can be fixed please send it to some Best Buy in the lower half of Manhattan.  At this point, it all still seems so simple.  I got the email saying it was repaired and ready to be picked up.  Great.  I clicked track on the email to see where it was dropped off to see which Best Buy it was shipped to and it just said New York, NY.  So I called the number on the email and asked which Best Buy it was shipped to.  And got put on hold and got put on hold and got put on another hold.  Then after like 20 mins of waiting the woman said that it had been shipped to the Best Buy on Colombus Circle. I said that’s strange cause I specifically asked for it to get shipped to a best buy on the lower end of Manhattan and I asked if she could please check again.  She did and still the same address. So I hopped out of the Sephora I had been browsing in (actually not just browsing, I got another Stila glitter and glow eyeshadow in the beautiful color Spiritual) and hopped on the subway to head to the Best Buy.

Once I arrived there I was told that it wasn’t there and that it was in a Best Buy in NoHo.  At this point, I had been on the subway four times that very day and I was carrying a backpack with lots of cleaning supplies and I was over it.  The very kind and patient Best Buy associate told me after he looked again that it was definitely not there and he called the NoHo store who confirmed that yes it was there waiting for me just one more subway ride (and two transfers) away.  I had less than an hour to get there and through my exhaustion, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.  That light was the margaritas that Nick would make me when I got home.  So I dragged my feet to the subway and arrived at the NoHo store where a very kind and knowing woman helped me (“I just got off the phone with your Mom, she said.  “She told me you were on your way.”) We talked about our random non NYC home towns and she got me out of there very quickly.

After that I went to a Whole Foods (i wanted to go to a non bougie grocery store but this is NoHo after all) got some Margarita supplies and headed home.  to the light.

1st day in Paris (+ self esteem issues!)

I’ve been to Paris before on a French Club trip where we got laughed at by all our french peers for trying to say some French words.  It was an unforgettable trip but mainly cause it was awkward and I was mostly friendless.  But also cause I saw Elton John and the Arctic Monkeys perform and ate really well.  Now I’m an assistant/wedding planner type thing and I still don’t know my place in the world or usually in the room but I’ve gotten myself to Paris and I’m getting paid for it so I guess that’s a win.

The wedding we’re working is much more than a wedding.  We are going to be in Paris for 6 days and there are 4 events (dinner parties mostly) and when we’re done here we go to level two, Antigua where we are going to do another 4 events.  It’s a lot and I’m very awkward and weirdly shy and nervous and I feel very incompetent.  I get really weird around people who are way way many millions richer than me and I almost forget how to be myself.  It’s not cute and I’ve tried to be more of a conversationalist and less down on myself during these work trips but I don’t think I’ve made any progress.  The ven diagram middle of things I have in common with these people is such a small sliver and I find it hard to talk to them.  I’m at least 10 years younger than everyone and I’ve didn’t go to college and this is not my career like it is theirs.  I’m trying to breathe and focus on the work at hand and try and make it out alive.  My boss is one of the most amazing and intelligent and capable people I’ve ever met so it’s really impressive to watch her work.  But for me and all my issues, this is a very stressful trip.  I hope to learn from her and be like her in my work life.

I think Paris is so beautiful (don’t we all) and it has this sort of airiness that New York doesn’t have.  Maybe my favorite thing about it here is that there are balconies everywhere and having a balcony has always been one of my dreams. There’s breathtaking architecture around every turn. This city clearly lends its self to dreams, especially dreams of grandeur.  It’s definitely expensive; the french onion soups we ate for lunch at a place that had a diner-y feel were 15 euro each and our cappuccinos were 8.  But in better weather, I would love nothing more than to wander around the city with my novio and have a picnic (i.e some bread, cheese and wine and us scattered on a blanket)

previously mentioned cappuccino & a very fancy hotel

sneak that self care in

I’ve been waking up so late lately (like waking up at the time I should be out the door for work) so I haven’t been able to have peaceful mornings. My fantasy morning involves cuddle with my novio, coffee (preferably from the deli and not made my me cause my coffee is horrible) a concha, some sunlight through the window, taking my vitamins, showering, putting on makeup while listening to the daily, do my skincare routine, editing my to do list google doc, listening to salsa etc. These things never all happen in one morning, sometimes I get one or two components in (if I take my vitamins and make my own coffee that’s enough for me). But lately I’ve been literally just finding an outfit brushing my teeth and running out the door like a hurricane. Lately it’s gotten to the point that I’ve been throwing my sunscreen and moisturizer into my bag and when I get to work sneaking into the bathroom and moisturizing like a weirdo. You gotta do what you gotta do to feel like a human being. Cause most of the time at work I don’t, I feel like a robot that does the same thing over and over again which I do and I sit in the same chair in front of the same chair for 9 hrs a day 6 days a week filling out the same form. The only reason I don’t hate the job is cause I get to listen to music and audiobooks and pod casts and the guy next to me also doesn’t like the job and wants to not be doing nothing with his time. Also it’s refreshing to not talk to anyone after a life in customer service (I’m forgetting how to fake smile!!). I like quiet and solitude but you know what I like more than that? Getting things done and feeling like I’m going somewhere in life. Here I feel like I’m wasting my time. It’s been a long train of jobs with varying degrees of soul sucking. I hope to one day find my soul job and also to only work one job.

1st out of country work trip

LOL I love that I can say that, it makes me feel successful even though I’m not! Yay!

But I get to go to beautiful places for my side hustle and I really love and admire my boss which is awesome.  And I really love the work.

I think that’s more than I can say for any other job I’ve ever had by far.

Tomorrow morning I board a direct flight to Antigua. It’s my first time to a Carribean island (meaning my first time seeing clear blue water !! I’m so excited!) and my first time flying business class (so bougie!).

We have a wedding there this November so this 2 day trip is the site visit so we can get a sense of what it’s going to be like and meet the other vendors and such (I actually have never done an out of country site visit so idk lol).  My one wish is that at some point I get to go in the water, and my other wish is that

Also Nick and I went to Coney Island yesterday so I’m a real gorgeous shade of lobster and I’m hoping I don’t look totally ridiculous tomorrow when I meet the client.  I’ve been layering aloe and masks and everything in hope that it gets fixed before tomorrow.  I was also attacked by mosquitos in my sleep and of course, they were incredibly rude and went straight for the face (this is something that I have come to expect).  It was an amazing day and probably the closest thing I’ll get to a vacation this year but I don’t even care cause 1) it was an amazing day and 2) we’re going to Indonesia in 7 months!! ]

But please wish my professional luck cause I really don’t wanna be awkward or clueless or stupid nervous.  I wanna look like the working professional I hope to one day be.

new job + new wake up time😳

My new job requires me to be out of the house by 6:30 am (!). It’s a trip to look at the clock saying 5 am and not being like yay! I still have time to sleep. Also I work as a claim analyst which literally means I sit in a chair for nine hours and type bankruptcy claims into a computer except for when the computer is slow and won’t let me. It is the most boring thing. But I’m not going to complain cause it’s my first sit down job + my first job where I’m allowed to have headphones in. Also it’s ridiculously easy.

succeeding in NYC is hard to do

Ok so I always wanna say to the people who watch Sex and the City and are like oh my god, i wanna move to NYC and be a writer/actor and do glamorous stuff and live like Carrie… it’s not like that.  Unless you’re some type of rich person it’s gonna be so much hustle and work and craziness to even get to one dreamy tv moment.  Also NYC is beautiful and sparkly but it’s also really gross.  There is trash on all streets that aren’t SoHo and sometime’s you’ll have to keep checking the bottom of your feet to see if you stepped in shit cause you keep smelling it… 9/10 it’s not you, it’s the streets.  There are rats in the subways and don’t ever sit on a subway seat on a full train without checking, usually there’s some sort of liquid on it.  You’re at some point gonna see a rodent or cockroach in your home.  I’ve never missed rent but I barely make into the next month with much money left over… I can not emphasize enough how expensive rent it.  All the apartments you’ve ever seen on sitcoms of New Yorker’s who have a waitressing job and a roomy living room … oh honey it’s gonna be so many worlds away from that.  My 2nd apt in the city was so small that once I put the twin size mattress on the floor there was only inches left surrounding and I was paying almost $1000 for that monthly.  My boyfriend and I would trip over each others limbs when we both stood up at the same time in the room and we would also trip over the clothes flowing out of the closet cause there was no room to even have a dresser. Even getting a waitressing job is difficult to get in the city cause a lot of places require you to have years of experience working in the city.

If your dream is to move to New York City do it!!  Just don’t expect it to be easy and gorgeous all the time.  You have to work for things to maybe be easy (easier) one day and you have to make and find the gorgeousness your self.  Have savings for a few months or a job lined up and be prepared to work two times harder than you did when you lived in your small town.  The city will hurt your feelings.  You are gonna have to fight for yourself and hustle non stop.  I dealt with a schizophrenic roommate who threatened to kill me, a kitchen with no lights, a 5 floor walk up, a boss who stole the money I worked for, a leaky ceiling, having four jobs at ounce and still struggling to provide the necessities for myself.  I’ve been back in the city for a year and a half and i’m just beginning to be set up and financially ok and have things in my life that are consistent.  This week I had a really promising interview with a hairstylist from a makeover show that I watched religiously with my highschool best friend and went to an awesome makeup launch party with my best friend.  I booked the flights for my first trip for business and went to my soul sucking job yesterday with a light hopeful feeling for better things to come.  But the better things don’t come.. you have to work and will them into existence with months of effort and hard labor.  Those moments seemed surreal and like TV NYC.  But they are so few and far between.

I believe in the side hustle

Soo my day job (I work there 4 days a week for that stale minimum wage) pays less in 2 weeks than my glorious side hustle pays in one day. That hurts my heart. The problem is that I work my side hustle like once – three times a month. I’m just trying to work my little internship ass off until my boss falls in love w me + my impressive work ethic and wants me full time. Please and thank youu

Cross your fingers for me